The Teapot's Cabin

And so it has been a couple of busy days...extremely busy days...at work I have finally gone back to my old routinely self of being a workaholic. i have always been a workaholic, but all because I love what i do..and so i immerse myself in my work... you know how people always say that we should always do things that make you happy... and how often people are misinterpreting it as non-work-stuff, but what most people forget is that for some, work is what makes them happy... and i somehow have to admit that! I like to work. not because of the money, but rather the meaning behind my work. the effects of my work on the people around me, or the effects of my work on the people whose work revolves my work..i can't help to think how much we are able to help people by the work we are doing... i'm not just referring to my current job but rather all my other jobs in the past too, and that gives me great contentment. yes, i do go through stress as frequent as any normal human being...

I just hate the cold nights...as much as I prefer cold weathers than hotter ones, but it is also something I do not like as it often is a reminder how lonely these times are... its a love-hate relationship. COLD. that is just how the weather is and how things are at the moment. the irony of me finally securing what I have always wanted, in terms of my career, but the down part of not being happy overall... Cold. that is the exact temperature of how things are between us. maybe it is because i became so independent with myself that it is making me decapitated somehow knowing the consequence that comes with such a risk I took with it. and no one to be blamed for this. It was a choice I made, and got to live with it. Cold. that is just about it. I do not see how things will turn to be warm again. The effort is just excruciatingly painful and as much as I was hoping to come out of the wreck of the past, it is just sucking me deeper within... So help me God. Amen.

Things are often unpredicted. Just when you think your hopes looking gloom...and heading down the line, things started to twist around.... although im still in the midst of the "wait" (as per my previous post) But now that things are moving in a different direction, the "wait" does not seemed intimidating anymore. in fact, the results of the "wait", provided a positive result, will then make everything fall into place perfectly... Just keeping my fingers cross and not being too hopeful, so as not to be dissapointed in a harder manner. Help me God. Amen.

Happy New Year! hoping for a happy year indeed.... isn't that the ultimate aim at the end of  the day for everyone? Well, that is what i truly believe in, that is no matter what I choose to do, or be involved in, the most important thing is that I am happy at the end of the day. but then...I am starting to contradict my believes. Funny, how it seem that I am so accustomed to helping and guiding people that I often disregard my own feelings, precisely my happiness. I am always putting others' needs before my own, and hence the tendency of wanting to help, but denying my own feelings behind it all. This has been playing in my mind for long, very very long, been months,...maybe the long duration was that I am unable to tell it to anyone because no one I know who is able to understand such situation..and it may appear to them that I overthink at times for having such thoughts, but then again, how hard I try to deny or distract from it, these thoughts keep coming back, haunt...

and so the annual mandatory post....a practice that I make myself do since dont know when...hahaha... self-declared-mandatory so 2017 passed. So many things happen, so many things changed, so many things left unsaid, but I think most importantly, is so many blessings upon the way. Life has indeed changed in 2017. if you have been following my posts, you will notice the change in my career, especially. Yes, indeed. the career change has been a leap (of joy i hope!) for 2017. Many were surprise but some were expecting it, noticing the changes in me from the previous one... Nevertheless, 2017 has taught me the following: Don't take things for granted, because you may not always get what you wanted, Don't assumed things, because you will never know how life swings, Don't be too quick to judge, because you will never know the reason behind the smudge, Don't sweat the small stuff, because life gives you more reason to be tough. Do be thankful for the past, ...