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Showing posts from 2016

Two more days

Two more days to make 2016 great...two more chances to make 2016 memorable in all its glory... what am i anticipating for the next two days? oh well, honestly, nothing much...just hoping things are smooth flowing, nothing extraordinary that will shock the life out of me. 2016 thus far has been interesting in so many ways. i don't even know where to start but for all that has happened, i believe that everything happens for a reason. whatever reason it may be, i trust it has been part of His master plan for me. i have since stop questioning all that is happening and just letting go, trusting in His providence. 2 more days to make 2016 great. So help me God.Amen

Being Strong

Doing what is right is never easy. To know the cause of right and to be willing to stand up and face it all. It is certainly not easy. The courage within accompanied with the risk that it entails, it is really not an easy thing to do. And it is even worse when you face all of this alone....standing alone, facing the rejection, the insult, the jeers, everything and anything... but you have to do it amidst it all. for the good of the future. for the good of what is to come next...we need to be confident and do it all. nothing to fear, nothing to hide, nothing to hold back.... Easier said than done. It is really not easy. I need to be strong. to face adversity and whatever that comes with it. I can do this. So help me God. Amen.

Moodless

What happens when you lose your will to even carry out your daily routine? that's exactly how i feel... when people keep questioning your ability and capability that all you know of everything that you know becomes doubtful..spoil everything that you have known, all that you have believe in yourself. it tarnishes your dreams, your hopes, your wishes and goals. just about everything seems pointless at this moment...all the arguments, all the fights, the convincing, the confidence... all just seems bleak... nothing to look forward to... this time shall pass..i hope...i really hope...it is not a good feeling but i guess it is necessary. one thing for sure is that i am not losing faith....He surely knows what He is doing and i am putting my whole trust in Him... so help me God. Amen.

Questions

What do you do when you starts questioning everything and anything around you, even to the point of questioning your mere existence? To me, honestly, I find that it is very disturbing if one ever reach this point in their lives, but it is a necessary stage to go through in life...to actually sit and take a moment to reflect that and the meaning of life at its very present condition.... then you start to think...am i happy? am i satisfied with way things are now? do i regret any of my decision(s) that led me to this current state? am i contented with life now? if all these are resulting in negative results, then please do something about it. negativity is the alarm that something is wrong somewhere and it will only lead you further on into the ditch you are burying yourself in. if you see the slightest glitter of hope in the midst of the negativity, fret not, there is still an opportunity to change the table around for a better ending.... Whatever it is, never forget Him. when in

Honesty

Being a best friend and being a good friend has its significant difference. I didn't realize it until it hit me in the gut recently. A good friend will be there to give you advice but only a best friend will be there to give you the honest truth, whether you like it or not. A best friend is someone who knows you inside out, and therefore is able to see you better (sometimes) than you can see yourself. And because of that, they are able to tell you the truth about you...but definitely only from their point of view...yes, the truth hurts! nobody say the truth is a bed of roses and smell of perfume. it is bad, hurting and ugly. and a best friend is there to always tell you this, but also bear in mind that they will never leave you alone to discover the real truth or to justify their claim of the truth.  It is definitely not easy to be a best friend because of the fear surrounding you when you need to tell the truth. but you just have to do what you have to do sometimes...and th

Turning 30

Here it is again...my default birthday post...though one day late this year, but nonetheless, i still would like to say something here... This year is indeed different abit. It marks a milestone for me, turning (big) 30 this year...never would i imagine a few years ago how would my life be turning 30. all these while, 30 is something very huge for me. it marks something big, meaningful, something significant as it signifies me becoming adult, mature i hope, but rather an adult, officially! that was how i always look at, 30... but then, when it did hit me, that i am 30 this year, it seemed like any other day to me. nothing big, nothing hoo-hah about it as how i would picture myself to be....although i always thought that i would be married by the time i am 30..oh well, these stuffs are not for us to be controlled of....  however, one thing that is different this year is that after so many years, i finally have my entire family to celebrate this 30th birthday with me. on the r

LOVE

What is the best feeling in the world? In my personal opinion, the best feeling would be to love and be loved in return. That would be the best and greatest experience any human being can encounter. LOVE. a simple four-letter word but holds a huge meaning in life. Being in love takes a lot of risk. it is in fact a choice. to be in love or out of love, it is a choice. a choice made freely without any reservations. Being in love entails risk as it is mainly the matters of the heart. the heart is place in the core, of which once broken, will be hard to get it back in full anymore... hence, the risk to place that fragile heart into a love relationship, is huge. and therefore, the returns are huge as well. to be loved in return. Pray for the best. God bless us all. Amen.

RIP

i wonder how much can you hate or rather dislike a person, even after the person has passed on? It comes as a shock to me that humans are not so forgiving after all, even after the person has left this world.. why is it so? why can we let the person leave in peace, but still hold on to the anger and frustration within? over the weekend, a friend passed on, shockingly which led to this post now. His cousin whom I texted to send my deepest condolences his loss, showed me how deeply he was hurt, with a deep anger and frustration within against his cousin. It then got me thinking....the saying of the closer a person is to us, the deeper the hurt is when the relationship is broken...and this was clearly shown... It is sad to see such a thing happening, because knowing both of them previously, their relationship was rather close, family bond. but to see it today, that closeness was shattered, is indeed a sad thing.. so much so that we would want to help mend this relationship, but it is

Being silent

It's been almost 3 weeks since my last posts and looking back at that post, there was more conviction to what I wrote after I caught up with a friend with similar thoughts last weekend..... indeed. time to walk the talk....a gentle reminder of that thought...which showed that it is a valid thought and I am not alone to think such :) Diverting from that.... that wasn't the main topic of this post....so couple of days ago, as I was at my daily routine...i began to realize the beauty of silence.... not that i dislike silence, but i forgot the essence and beauty of it because I have been noisy all these while... it got me thinking, that all these while, I have been questioning and questioning and questioning just about anything and everything that I encountered. But then it suddenly hit me....what would the opposite party think of me? how will they take those questions that I keep throwing to them? with every question, there is certainly risk of being judged....as they can always

Time to Walk the Talk

I was ask a question today and it got me thinking and contemplate further on the entire issue and hence, my post..... in fact, it was the second time i was ask the same question. and both times, my answers was not clearly made known to the person who asked, but deep down within me, i know the answer. Call me a hypocrite or a heretic, but I feel that being a Christian is not about head knowledge, not about going for camps, not about going for talks, yes it is important to be well equipped about the faith and its teaching, but if you are not doing anything about it after all that, then what is the point? i truly feel very strongly when it concerns these...what are we doing with all the faith education that has been poured out to us since like forever? are we just concern with following the tradition of the faith, with its full splendor yet put a blind eye and heart to the neighbor who is in need? isn't it sad that this is truly happening to our very own society, our very own br

Humility. A new beginning

and so...a new journey begins.....about 2 weeks ago... things have been going on smoothly..for now...*fingers crossed*... although just a short time, but there's so much I have realized and learnt about myself; the past and the future. things of the past that still "haunts" me at times, yet I am thankful for that entire experience which had shaped me into who I am today... being in this new place, I realized too how important it is to be humble. whether it is on my part or the people around me. humility is indeed the core in today's world. how cliche it may sound, but that is the reality if you really want to make the most out of every situation today. there is no point being arrogant and showing off your worth if there is no substance to begin with. it is more worthwhile if we are filled with substance and stay low till the time matters.... stay humble. show your worth. you can do it. let's make it count! God bless us all. Amen.

Farewell...again

So today is my last day at work, precisely Exclusive Mark. My tenure of 2 years & 10 months, just 2 months short of making it 3 years, but nonetheless, it is  still my longest period in a company...yeah, you read that right..the longest ever in my 7 years of working. My new career path would be the 6th company in 7 years! hahahaha... i myself could not believe how fast i moved on from one to another... i tend to look at it at a positive note, knowing that my jump from one company to another is always for the better good... for personal growth, for more challenges, for bigger roles, for bigger responsibilities, for better future, for a better prospect. yes, to some it is not good for employment history to note such frequent jumps, but if a company values you, these is all not important, as it only shows how much or how fast one can progress in his/her field..... opportunities does not knock that often, and it takes a huge risk and open mind to accept what lies ahead. I have been

Dispensable

The past few weeks, if not days, has shown me a lot of things (that I may have known but choose to deny it...haha) of myself and the people around me. I always have this thought for my job or rather my career that we are always dispensable. Work is work, it will always be there whether we do it or not. so we are always replaceable at anytime. I have experienced this before when I see how my interns are able to just perform the task that I given to them. challenge after challenge, they did it with grace. and it was a wake up call for me, then we are dispensable. nothing is for certain. with just a click of the fingers, we can be replaced. and therefore, it brings me to my humble side....of always wanting to teach others to do more than what they are suppose to do. a lot of times, these are taken in the wrong way, i.e. that i'm showing off for teaching them, for me assuming that they don't know anything and would need me to teach them how to do it. yes, these kind of feedback a

Change must happen

And so I mentioned how a big decision I had to make in my previous post and indeed...since then, it has been all the clearer that this should be it.... so how did I know it was the best decision and the signs were pointing me there? oh well, I stop a while and look at my surroundings, one late evening...and I see how much I have been through to be where I am today, to be doing what I am doing today, and indeed....it has been a hell of a journey... but I am grateful for it all, and especially for the span of the few hard days where I had to make a decision, I learnt a lot about myself, things which I was doubtful about but it all seemed so clear to me now A friend told me, that I needed to make this decision. it is a change that has to happen because I have been in a stagnant situation for a while and it is not healthy for me to do so... at first I thought he was just saying things out of his mind without knowing me within...but how wrong was I when indeed, what he said was right.

Happiness. One step forward

It's been a hell of a week...the previous week it is. So many things happen within the span of 7 days. no ups and downs as it is mostly downs.... oh well, i survived and lived to tell the story So it has been a wrecking week.. i have one of the toughest decisions to make and it really got onto the very fine end of my hair, to actually have a single clue which to choose as both choices put forth is equal with its pros and cons..my future was at stake. yes, you read it correctly. my future was  at stake, and thus the heartache and headache to come to a decision at the end of the week... i read up, i searched up, i calculated (being a Chinese suddenly by being all calculative to the single cent), i spoke to so many people. i did all that i can do just so to find a solution. and thankfully i did. from all the conversations i had, with all sorts of people i known, with all their comments, feedback and sermons, i can draw out the main keyword that was mentioned...and it was HAPPINESS.

Work or Holiday?

I've been a very dedicated employee lately....until I'm turning into a workaholic... nothing but work work work...and more work....i think about work all the time...when i have nothing to do, i get bored and wishes to go back to work, to do work...and it has become a routine... and it seriously is becoming unhealthy, the stress is building up from within... to the point that i feel everything i do is questionable, i think and think and think and overthink of things that i do and is to do.. it is really getting into me more and more and i realize these very frequent in the change of my attitude and everyday behavior.. oh gosh! what have i turned out to be? maybe it is not work on its own, but the feeling that i get at work.. i feel useful, i feel wanted, i feel i am needed, i feel important, i am acknowledge and i know i am contributing to something, i am doing something worthy...or so i thought i am/was. until my colleague, honestly told me, "you need to go on a holida

Being positive

It is really difficult to be positive for others when you yourself are struggling in your own puddle of problems.... familiar? well, for me, personally, this happened very often for me. how much i have to pretend things are okay, or to put up a positive, cheery upfront for the people around me, when deep within me, it is the otherwise...it is indeed tiring...honestly.. but then, you may call me stupid for acting such. but for me, the reason me being i know how hard it is to be alone in your own shit..one thing for sure, i have been there, to be alone in my own shit and i know it does not feel good...and therefore, i make sure that people around me, who is in trouble or struggling in their own mess, can always count on me being there for them... it is really important to let them know they are not alone because loneliness kills deep within...and when it does, it has no mercy! i read somewhere that says when you help people with their problems, eventually, it will help you with yours

Believe and Faith

Believe and Faith. Any difference? It was beautifully put in place by a priest who preached so beautifully over the weekend and it will be a waste not to share it here. He said that believe is the response to our faith. How much we believe, will reflect on our faith. No matter where we are in life, our spiritual state of being, whether our faith is full, or half empty, or half filled, or almost empty, God will be there. He meets us where we are. If only we believe that it will happen. We do not need to ask for faith, as faith is already given and planted in all of us during our baptism, that small little mustard seed, planted in each one of us, and poured with the holy water of baptism...therefore instead, we should grow in faith, and not just to ask for one. The two scenarios that Father has put up clearly explains the relationship between these two; faith and believe. we all have the faith, yet do we believe in it? We profess the creed, so perpetually, yet, do we mean what we say?

Doubts

How many times did we doubted God? How many times did we doubted ourselves?  Every time when things did not turned as what we expected, we doubt the existence of God. We scold God, we blame it on Him, we shun Him out just because He "did not do as we pleased"......and how often does this cycle repeat itself? I'm sure any human being will go through such difficult phase, such disappointment that we feel as if He abandoned us...yet, there is always a reason to all these. There is always a reason for everything. Indeed. I am a living proof of this statement and proudly stands by it. Just take a moment and look back at things that happened, big or small things.....but to be more profound, look for those big things where decisions are made, important decisions, fundamental decisions.... How often do we actually get what we don't wish for? and yet, look at how the entire situation played out... somehow somewhere, it will certainly worked in our favor, or maybe not...bu

Changing directions

So it is already in the second quarter of the year, and I am only in my second post of the year... yes, you may have guessed it....a lot have happened ever since my very first post, changing and altering a lot of aspects of my very life.... for the better, i hope...and pray.. Oh well, the past 3 months have been very very interesting, i shall say...it is a mind-opening period, of coming out from my denial and facing the truth, the ugly bitter truth... yes, it has been painful but certainly necessary to get on with what's worth it in life..but thankfully, i survived the entire ordeal...it is not over yet, it is an ongoing struggle but I am certain, i can go through it all with faith and trust in God. Looking at these 3 months period, i can't help but notice how much i have been living in denial. At the back of my head, i know what i did or what i have done or what i was planning to do, is not right, yet, for the sake of denying, for the sake of fear itself, i choose to let m

Thank you 2015

2016! and immediately, a brand new look.... tired of the old, start with a new outlook towards this new year... Hope it is not too late to wish everyone a HAPPY NEW YEAR! May this year brings joy, laughter and peace to all of you. My review post comes abit late this year, as I was away on the last day of the year (was in Melbourne...woohoo!) and came back sick....only now that I am much better, that I decided to post my views... So well, 2015 was indeed an awesome year for me. I guess, if you have been following my blog for the past few years, I always say that about my year...always an awesome year, no matter what or which year it is....well, as cliché as it may sound, we have to live awesome lives and don't regret any bit of it... so for me, every year is uniquely special in their own way...and here's me, talking about my 2015. To make things brief and short, 2015 is a year of hope, joy and happiness. hahahaha... such a standard phrase. 2015 has shown me so much that I