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2011 - A review

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Yeah..just as the title is, i am going to review my year of 2011...so if this has started to bore you, you may always close this page as I am going to write alot as there is so much to say...haha.... well...2011..a very interesting year for me. nothing big, nothing small..but i shall say magnificent! hahaha...exagerating? well...maybe a little, but who cares, it's my year, and my experiences.. hehe a new job to begin the year, something which till today, this very moment, am very grateful for the opportunity to be where i am today. though some may have negative thoughts about it all as i have seen people come and people go, but to me, i am just blessed to be where i am now. i may be silly, to some due to the unreasonable pay (perhaps!) or the amount of workload and responsibility i have to shoulder, but then..i just love my job! wow..i can't believe i just type it out aloud. yes, u heard me, I Love My Job! well, to me, that is the key to everything that we do..if you like somet

Christmas

It's Christmas!! a time of giving and sharing, a time of love and joy.....it's been the usual for many years, but somehow, i have to admit that for whatever reason it may be, Christmas this year has seem to be extra special....i am more excited and was really looking forward for Christmas this year... to be with loved ones, especially family members. for a change this year, we would be visiting immediate family members to spread the joy, i suppose...but i guess the real joy would be able to introduce our newest member to the other family members. my darling niece, who have brought so much joy and light to the house.... it's alwayz been a joy to give during this season and i hope what i have given, would be accepted with love and appreciation, the least. Merry Christmas peeps. spread the love =)

past haunts

the past is past...you will always try to forget it, but somehow, when the time is "right", it will come back to haunt...just like that! and memories start flooding in again.. and my life has now started to stabilize...and now you want to bring me back to what i am trying hard to forget and let go.....i am thankful for making me who i am today, making me stronger as a person and making me appreciate life even more.... this is going to be a more interesting ride than the past, but i would not want to be afraid anymore. although i doubt my strength, but i know i can do it with His help...so help me God

Thank you

being thanksgiving day, i have many to thank for up to now...first and foremost, thank GOD for creating life itself, allowing me to experience what life is all about...thank my parents for having me into their lives, without them, there would not be me..thank my other family members who have been through thick and thin with me, only you all know what its like to be who we are today!...thank you to all my friends who have known me in one way or another, even though we have not been in contact for ages, it was great knowing you all for one part of my life..for those friends who have been close to me, thanks for your effort and understanding and patience when dealing with me....to my 'enemies', thank you to you all too for allowing me to see the other side of myself which i may not have realised if you have not push me to my limits...THANKS! =)

hmm...

i just felt like blogging but didnt know what to actually write about....well guess because there were just so many things in my head at the moment; work, holiday, work, friends, family,work, work..and all that is out is all about work.. oh no..have i became a workaholic? well, i have to admit that i am..nothing seems to revolve around me that much apart from work. i love what i am doing, i admit, and that is what pushes me through everyday, though the amount of stress and burden it comes with it....apart from work, what is there left of me? i have nothing much to look forward to most of the time..sounds pathetic isnt it? guess that work has kill most part of me, and im letting myself being murdered by it...wonder when does this killing spree ends?...i wonder

not right...again

guessed that all i wanted was to get back what i have given thus far...is it so hard? why has all these be so controversial? if only it was just so simple, things would have been so much easier without the need to think of the consequences of it all... haiz...guess the time is not right again..but when will it be?

wonder

oh no...its happening again....guess that i just want to feel the same way i did last time.. gosh..is it so hard to get the right one? must i go through a series of wrong ones before the right one comes along?...gosh.................when will that be? i wonder

Mountains to Climb

its been a month since i last blogged....so much to say but so little time to write them all down... my mind was flooded with thoughts and thought of various things, issues after issues surfaced, i was drowning with not much air to breath..i can just hang on with whatever that was left of me... but thankfully, with much faith and prayer, i survived. the month of october! a month of extensive drama everywhere, every part of my life..it was just one whole dramatic month, and i now lived to look back and blessed for having survive it.... well, things aren't going any better rapidly, but rather things are slowly changing for the better....guess i have rolled down hill in october, and landed myself in the lake, drowning ut barely surviving...but i have learn to float, and surfaced...and now slowly climbing the hill once more...it is tough, of course, but im never giving up till i reach the peak.. now will know if i reach the peak? i hope i dont..because if i know that i reached the peak

SUCCESS

Success! what is it that deemed something to be successful.. i was questioned on this today... and my head goes about its thinking on it again....success to me is dependent on one's own thinking and definition. one would have their own success target in various points in their life; be it in education, in career, in family, in personal goals....once something is being set with target, then it is being judge whether it is successful or not, whether it reaches the ending that you set for it or not...so it is really dependent on that person's own personal views.... for me, am i successful? I am proud to say I am in my career aspect..things have been moving pretty fast and in my liking, (for the moment), being where I am today....although there has been obstacles here and there, which may not be easy to be dealt with....but as i ponder it back, why did i thought i am successful? was it because i have initially, previously set a goal on my career unnoticely? perhaps i did, out of my

Blessings

I'm becoming more and more emotionally attached lately...is it because im contemplating on my youth now that im turning a quarter of a century soon? gosh..time does flies so fast and im glad to be where i am today...am i? guess i am.... i always believe in counting your blessings. it is often pretty hard to look at things and think of them as blessings in disguise. imagine how could you turn an ugly situation and turn it into something beautiful in an instance? it could....but all in the head, nothing in reality. well, i have always believe in positive thinking. i believe that thinking positively does helps us to view the world in a much better and nicer way. we will not focus on what is lacking, but instead be appreciative of what we have and already had. experience has always been a blessing in disguise, be in good ones or bad ones....it all depends on a person's personal point of view. one thing is for sure, our life itself is already a blessing! embrace His gifts =)

mixed

mixed reactions.....why cant they all just be straight forward...sending mixed signals does gives me mixed reactions...i've fallen into one before, and am afraid to make the same mistake again. hence, im sure to guard my heart closely this time around till it really feels right.....gosh....i hope im not taking it the wrong way...*fingers crossed*

Miss You Love You

Miss You Love You.....listening to this song by Maroon 5..it sudenly got me into an adrenaline rush..was it the tune? was it the lyrics? or was it just the title.........well then..i guess, i just Miss You...and I.....................

love movies are a no-no

oh how i hate love movies...ok, hate could be a strong word....more of like jealous, as i don't know whether do i have the same fairytale reality as what is shown in the movies.....haiz... every girls' dream or fantasy, which only some have the privilege to make it come true....well well well.....maybe i just havent met the "right" one yet...come what may...

History repeats itself

history repeats itself...err..two days ago...hehe....so much so as you do not want to recall the past, somehow it will just comes back to haunt you, even harder..as it brings you back to how it happened long time ago.... maybe im just too sensitive, but what is said, is said..can't be taken back....as my friend once mentioned, its like stabbing with a knife, after you take out the knife, the wound will still be there and leaves a scar forever (perhaps)...so that's how life is...so much so as we move on in life, but somehow the past will comes back from time to time...however, if only we know what to focus on in life, the past will just be history.....live in the present, leave the past and just hope for the future =)

Relieve

it's good to have friends who listens..whether it is just for the sake of listening, or they are sincere in listening to what you have to say..im just grateful for having such friends... for those who know me well, im not a person who opens up easily to anyone, what more on problems faced at work or with anything, cause im not a person who likes to tell it all out to just about anyone..no, i am not comfortable doing that...only when i am at ease, comfortable with a person then only will i let it all out....and i do feel relieve for doing such, because it is not easy for me to tell them all out, for the fear of what others will think of me, fear of the assumptions people may make of me....anyhow, it does feel good to share it with others...God bless them all =)

One year ago

31st August!..it was exactly one year ago..exactly....a day of something not should be done, a day when everything was not suppose to begin in the first place...but now, its a just a history, a mere experience, something which im not really proud of, but should be glad enough that it happened. A day of memories ~ sad ones, disapointing ones, cheerful ones, interesting ones, etc. it WAS just a day of mixed feelings...WAS..yes...WAS...it happened, and i canot turn back time. and since then, everything went downhill...everything went from bad to worse...until i came to the lowest point in life, i hope, and now im here... never in my mind had i thought that one year later, i would be where i am today. one year ago, my situation was so so much different...and ever since this particular date one year ago, i have been to places which i never thought i would and that led me to where i am today. decisions were made, actions were taken and here i am today. well, guess all that happen one y

Latest addition to the family

30th of June marks the day we welcome someone new to the family.....drum roll.....drum roll louder....drum roll loudest................................ MY NIECE she was born at 6.24pm via the C-Section and thank God that both mother and baby are well. She's just so pretty. Im sure she's gonna grow up into a beautiful lady! Im a proud aunt today!

Where art thou?

Time's changed...clock's ticking...but whats happening all around? Life has been going on smoothly lately, but will it all just be online games and nothing else? excitement , sports , entertainment ...where art thou? i need a life too... :S

Life on a canvas

Imagine a plain white canvas in front of you, and a box of paints with a set of brushes beside you. You are required to draw anything that comes to mind. What would you draw? Well, life is like the white canvas, and every individual is responsible to be the artist to paint it with the colors of their choice. The paints are representing the personality and the strokes of brushes, made on the canvas are the lessons learnt in life. Every individual are dealt with challenges in life, whether it is small challenges like how to overcome some petty arguments or bigger challenges especially in determining the route of life in which the effect will be felt in the future. A larger stroke of the brush would depict how big the challenge is and the lessons learnt. Often enough, these two goes hand in hand; bigger challenge, more lessons learnt. But what differentiate these strokes are the colors you used to paint them. Different colors will give a different effect on the whole painting that you wou

Mutant and proud!

Mutant and proud! something i picked up from the X-Men First Class movie....a beautiful tagline, full of meanings.. Being mutant means being different. Often enough, we are so afraid to be who we really are, or rather who we want to be because we are so afraid of being called different. people are often worried that they will be sidelined, ignored, neglected, made-fun of, etc just by being out of the norm....so they just go with the flow... But, that will only bring misery, torturing and suffering to mask your true self. Being bold and courageous to be who you are in a twisted world is something to be proud of. Being different is not always the negative, but it could sometimes be a blessing in disguise. Being different means being unique, outstanding and noticeable in certain ways ( i dont mean to be a show-off). To be daring to be who you are is a blessing. To show what you are made of, to be not afraid of everything and anything but at the same time being aware of everything thats ar

Time to move on

Time to move on...perhaps....the signs are all showing that times have moved on, but why do people still care, no..to be precise, why do I still care...am i still living in the past? am i still clinging on to hope? am i still hoping for the imposible? am i regretting? .... I was the one who made the first move, I should not regret it, but in fact look at the bright side..how it has changed me, how it has mould me into who i am today.....YES! There should never be R.E.G.R.E.T. in my dictionary...times have change..it has move on...time to forget the past and move on..all is history..HIStory..now, i should carve MYstory!

Blame-fool world

It's such a blame-fool world! yes...i spelt it with a "fool" because only a fool knows how to blame people instead of examining themselves first before pointing fingers at others.... one finger pointing at others, while the other four fingers pointing back at you! that is just so true...for one fault, you 'push' it to others, but the real fault goes back to you........and all because we always look at the outer picture, but dare not dwell within to really find the actual cause or source... that's just the ugly truth about life..blaming and blaming others but never once sit and examine who/what was at fault in the first place...point point point...just love pointing fingers at others...pushing the problems to others, pushing responsibilities to others, running away from the truth, running away from things that are suppose to be settled by themselves.... all on all...the easiest solution is to never depend on people, because no matter how much u trust them at th

Limitations

Limitations...life and its limitations...a sentence as cliche as it sounds, a word as subjective as it sounds but weighs a million meaning.... What happens when we reached our limits? we boiled with anger, we boiled with irritation, we boiled with frustrations...all the negative thoughts boiled deep within...looking a solace, but where or to whom? people often advice me to seek solace in other people...but with the problem so clearly existing before us, do we still need to sit down and talk again? its like me knowing A,B,C..and the other party also knows A,B,C..is there still a need to sit down and learn A is for apple, B is for ball? ....wouldnt that just be a waste of time? why dont instead we use that wasted time to decrease the problem, to tackle the problem? situation and problems has surfaced, although yes, its necessary to discuss and see where the problem lies, but why waste time when you know what to do........ must it always be said one word by one word? isit not clear enough

Challenges

Challenges..challenges..challenges....came out from a tiger's mouth, and into another one (quote from a famous malay phrase)... well, after 5 months into my new position, it certainly depicts that phrase.. i may just be like a normal individual, breaking down, stressing out or rather freaking out with the daily work that have to be handled daily...BUT...my nature, learn to look at things positively! Yes! i'm under pressure and stress everyday. people may look at my outer being, but do not know what's burning deep within me...i do am liking what i am doing, that's why im willing to work my heart out and not look at the material values this has to offer (not that those aren't important,but not the priority)... i've used to ask myself and the people around me, whether the main purpose we are doing what we are doing is because of the money or because of the passion we have? majority would be for the money...BUT, its not alwaz the main priority. it is a necessity in

I just havent met you yet

Haven't Met You Yet by Michael Buble I'm not surprised, not everything lasts I've broken my heart so many times I stopped keeping track Talk myself in, I talk myself out I get all worked up then I let myself down I tried so very hard not to loose it I came up with a million excuses I thought, I thought of every possibility And I know some day that it’ll all turn out You'll make me work so we can work to work it out And I promise you kid that I give so much more than I get I just haven't met you yet I might have to wait, I’ll never give up I guess it's half timin and the other half's luck Wherever you are, whenever it's right You'll come outta nowhere and into my life And I know that we can be so amazin And baby your love is gonna change me And now I can see every possibility Somehow I know that it’ll all turn out You'll make me work so we can work to work it out And promise you kid I'll give so much more than I get I just haven't met you

Hypocrites

Hypocrites..just a bunch of people whom i despise the most.. i just can't bear with these kind of people...some may call it two-headed (or more headed) person, but just a simple 9 letter word sums the whole meaning of who that person is.. and with the challenges in everyday's world...im afraid of turning into one... the question is just a simple one : is it so hard to be who you really are? is it so important to alwaz wear a mask or put on a show just so to fit in? to feel belong? that is just what being a hypocrite is all about... to hide your true self... through out these years (not so long a period la),i began to realize who i really am. i realize that i have alwaz wanted or tried to be someone who im not just to feel belong, and it really took me a long time to actually noticing that it is really eating me inside out...the torture and misery that you have to go through, to put on a mask to face people whom you are not comfortable with, to put on an act to mingle with peopl

Understanding

Understanding..such a simple word, yet holds a thousand (or more) meaning..a very deep and valuable word. all it requires it just two right frame of mind, moving hand in hand...simple and cliche as it sounds, but that is just what that builds understanding between two (or more) individuals. let me quote what Gandhi said, which really strikes me : Harmony is when what you think, what you say and what you do are in harmony that is just what understanding is all about...things that are in harmony brings understanding..if one mind outweigh the other, then misunderstanding occurs.. thats just a fact, an ugly truth...learn to embrace it, and life would be much better

Life as it is...

Life..i just love talking about it..hehe...as cliche as it may sound, well life is just life itself..interesting yet not trouble-free.. it is indeed complicated.just a four letter word, yet so much meaning in it... the ups and downs, the joys and disapointment, the success and failures..its just unmeasurable..yet, it is still a fun-going process, if we know how to look at it. Life is indeed fun...although with tears, sadness, disapointments, yet it still has alot to offer..looking through the lines...these bad episodes, will just help us to be stronger..it teaches us what are the not-to-do things, what is and what is not.. it builds us inside out, to be a more matured person, to know what is right, to know how to think for the best... well, life is full of setbacks..obstacles after obstacles..nothing comes free in life (as the famous saying goes)..everything comes in pairs..good things will come with bad things, success comes with failure..well, thats just life.. like it or not, we are

Fate

Today i came across an ancient Chinese story which speaks about Life and Fate! it tells of how our lives had been planned since our birth till the very last day..which we often known this phenomena as FATE.... it also states there at the end of the story that each individual are fated to certain things, thus we shall not force ourselves to do things or to experience things which we aren't fated to do...how true is this statement? well, personally, i do not really believe this.. although looking back to where i am now, it does seems like everything has been perfectly planned out...with a new job, this spells new opportunity, new challenges, new experiences...experiences which will only make us a better individual, a better person, strong enough to face the multi changing world... life indeed is fated. each person is fated to certain things in life..but it all depends on whether we would be willing to accept it and live with it.. which is of course easier said than done..as we would