Posts

Darkest before the dawn

and so someone told me recently that it is always "the darkest before the dawn"... i was skeptical at first, but then now slowly began to believe in this...


Well, from my previous latest post, things have really gotten into a 180degree turn in my life..it was something i would not have expected to happen (not so soon at least), but it did...and initially i thought that it would be the end of me, the last straw that would have been my end...


but somehow eventually, i decided to give life another chance...and i believe, to this very day, am glad to have made that decision...


things may not be all prim and proper for now, but at least it is showing me that hope still exist among us if we do not give up believing in it...


am still keeping an eye open about my surroundings though it may only trap me in my own situation later down the line... (fingers crossed that it will not happen)..


Let's just see how things go...


p/s: this post has not much input. but i just feel like s…

time to build it again

i did it again.... and it hurts more than ever now... when i finally decided to dive in and take the risk this time around, again....i am made dissapointed with the decision i took...


i should never blame anyone for such, it is just a wake-up call for me to guard myself all over again.. its too hard to let go and let loose when all those will just cause you more hurt than you intend to in the beginning...


enough. its time to build those walls again. the heart is not able to take it for the third time... once bitten, twice shy, third avoid.


so help me God. Amen.

Getting out of our comfort zone

its been a while since i last posted...well, been busy with work...or maybe just making myself busy...hahhaa...whatever it was, it has been a whirlwind journey of late..


it got me thinking suddenly...to realize what we do to ourselves to deny ourselves from the reality in front of us.. confused?


think about it. how often we drown ourselves in our own comfort zone such as in our work (because we are so used to doing what we are doing) or going to eat at places which we are so familiar with daily or doing the same routinely thing daily i.e. take the same route for our morning/evening brisk walk. are we happy doing these things and continue staying in our comfort zones?


are you daring enough to get out of it and try new things? are you willing to put your work away just to have a good night out? are you willing to take a different pathway on your morning/evening brisk walk or maybe change it into a run instead?


think about it. we are so often afraid of change. for the simple reason. we…

Sad Fact but True

Lately things have got me thinking and reflecting...yes..again...i just like doing this...its like a habit.. from time to time i just sit and think... sometimes i am also lost in my own thoughts..


oh well, lately with the two suicidal cases of the famous icons; (God bless their souls: Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain)..it got me thinking even more.. what if i end up being like that one day?


For Kate Spade, i may not know much about her, just know her brand. But knowing me knowing my food, i know Anthony Bourdain. and i can relate so much to him. how much he likes travelling, and food, and meeting new people, not afraid to try new things...that's just how similar i am too..


hence, i can relate so much to his persona, and maybe even, can also feel what he felt, till he decided to take his own life..it is sad to hear about it. really. it gave me a sense that i can be like that too. one day. who knows.


Life which we always see may not be what we always thought it is or would be. peop…

Could it be real?

Could it be real? after all that has happened to me, i decided to give it another shot and i am wondering now if it is all real, because honestly, it is very surreal...it seemed so perfect, for now...


oh well...yet to know..only time will tell...


Will keep you all posted.


So help me God. Amen.

Better Oops than What Ifs

i write about my work previously, and in most of my few posts too...so obviously that work has taken centre stage to me these past months.


or rather i drown myself in my work because of the effect my work has on myself and the people i work with. it gives me a certain contentment which is the driving force for me to strive better with each day, though it never gets easier but tougher everytime.


as much as contented i am with work, i find it sad and dissapointed to a certain aspect with my life as i fail to share these feeling with those in the similar field as me. as much as i would want others to be in the same state of mind as me when it comes to the work i am doing, it sadden me when i heard the other person, whom i have tried to groom decided to call it quits on this. maybe it is because the lack of experience and the inferiority that she feels when it comes to this nature of the work.. that brings me to the reason i am blogging today.


i think i have talked about this previously,…

You can never have everything in life

Its been a while since I last blogged..and if those who have been following me,  will know the low note of my last post...indeed..it has been very difficult, to this very day. something which really shattered me.. but nonetheless, i choose to see the positive side.. because it has led me to find a distraction through my work..


Things are really overwhelming lately at work. its been two months since i took over an additional role at work, and things are still unstable, but looking on the bright side.. and with me, now writing this in a different country (not revealing where, but not in Malaysia), gave me a sense of "i finally did it"... i am finally living the dream. something which i have always wanted since, i think 4 years ago, a career which i have always eyed since then.


Things is not easy, surely. nothing in life is, but it just proves that nothing is impossible if we put our heart in it and not giving up on it...


As much as my personal life is in shambles, i am happy e…