Posts

Broken. Pain. Hurt. The end is coming....

 It's been more than a year since I penned down my words...and it feels different coming back here again to write.. The whole reason I started blogging and started this blog was basically to share my thoughts and everything that is going on with me...you may think that's what blogs are all about.. but in actual fact, let me reveal something today..the REAL reason I started blogging is because I do not have anyone or rather just one friend that I can speak to just about anything and everything, the kind of friend that you can just confide with whenever and whatever to.. I do not have such a person in my life.. It is totally different from a sibling or a family member, it is just someone else who has known the most part of your life that you can just share everything and be you, no judgement.. I do not have such a person... therefore, I truly envy those of you who have such a person in your life.. I do not. and therefore, my blog is the only platform that I am able to say anythin...
Post a Comment
Read more

Loneliness

Do you know what is the no1 killer in the world? No its not drugs, alcohol abuse nor road accidents. The No 1 killer in the world is..... LONELINESS How many of you are honest enough to admit that you are a very lonely person deep within, amidst all the friends and families around you... Those who knows me personally, will think that I am the opposite of loneliness, but to tell you the truth, i am indeed lonely. Thus, it is truly real when we see how many suicidal cases of top celebrities, who have everything in the world, yet suffer from depression all because they were lonely. I can totally relate to that. Loneliness is not about the physical but rather the emotions and mental state of mind. Yes, i have friends, numerous in fact, and a family who everyone knows them to be fun loving.. but deep down, i can totally admit openly, nobody cares about me as a person... People are so often confused with...
Post a Comment
Read more

Being judgemental

Wow. Its been one year since I last blogged. You can tell that I have not been having time to blog or rather lost my touch of blogging.... well, let's just say that alot of things happened, wonderful beautiful things... not going to explain too much here since it will take me pages and pages to write out 12 months of stories.. hehehe... just one word to describe the past 12 months: AWESOME oh well... you may be wondering the reason for coming back to this site after so long... as usual, the mind is always pumped up with thoughts and ideas, wanting to come out, so here I am.. so what's up in my mind? a thought just came over me... How do we know when something is wrong, if we do not know what is right? Have this thought ever crossed your mind? maybe it has but you brushed it off as utter nonsense.. but looking at the question, it does make sense, doesn't it? Humans are judgemental creatures. but often times than not, they passed out judgement without having a sing...
Post a Comment
Read more

My Amazing 2018

And so..the tradition continues.. i like to pen down my thoughts on New Year's eve or on New Year's Day to reflect how far i have been to this very day... Thus...if you have been following my posts, you would be able to notice the bountiful events that has happened over these past 365 days. Indeed, i could not have deny it but 2018 has been the most eventful year to date, in so many aspects i.e. family, love, career, friendship, and most importantly, my growth as a person. it is one of the toughest year, or maybe not one, but THE toughest year in my entire career life. the challenges, the obstacles, the people, it is by far the peak throughout my entire 9 years of labour. Yes, it is the darkest hours especially when you are faced with the ridiculous adversities, but looking at it, i am thankful for these experiences, because it taught me alot about who i am as a person. As cliche as people always say that the worse experiences are what mould you today, and indeed they are t...
Post a Comment
Read more

unworthy

It's been three months since my last post.... so fast time flies..... Well, i wouldn't want to speak about what happened over the past three months.. but rather speak something very randomly that is bonggling the mind.. How often do we do our best in whatever tasks that is given, but the credit still goes to someone else? as much as we choose to ignore it, the dust is never easy to be bitten... the effort and time to help, and yet, those who were suppose to do it, choose to ignore it, while i become the scape goat for all the nonsense that wasn't even mine in the first place. it is really unfairness to its maxmum. and as much as it is against my life principle to be brought down so easily, but i just could not do much, knowing that i am legally bound to what is being contracted to me.. haizzz..life and all its obstacles... as much as i hope to persevere through all these, as much as i hope to leave as well... So much that i have gone through the past 9 years, and ne...
1 comment
Read more

Darkest before the dawn

and so someone told me recently that it is always "the darkest before the dawn"... i was skeptical at first, but then now slowly began to believe in this... Well, from my previous latest post, things have really gotten into a 180degree turn in my life..it was something i would not have expected to happen (not so soon at least), but it did...and initially i thought that it would be the end of me, the last straw that would have been my end... but somehow eventually, i decided to give life another chance...and i believe, to this very day, am glad to have made that decision... things may not be all prim and proper for now, but at least it is showing me that hope still exist among us if we do not give up believing in it... am still keeping an eye open about my surroundings though it may only trap me in my own situation later down the line... (fingers crossed that it will not happen).. Let's just see how things go... p/s: this post has not much input. but i just fee...
Post a Comment
Read more

time to build it again

i did it again.... and it hurts more than ever now... when i finally decided to dive in and take the risk this time around, again....i am made dissapointed with the decision i took... i should never blame anyone for such, it is just a wake-up call for me to guard myself all over again.. its too hard to let go and let loose when all those will just cause you more hurt than you intend to in the beginning... enough. its time to build those walls again. the heart is not able to take it for the third time... once bitten, twice shy, third avoid. so help me God. Amen.
Post a Comment
Read more