September
September is always a special month for me...for the obvious reason la, I think.. but truly it is a time which is very close to my heart...and because of that, my "reflective mode" was switch on... I started thinking bout me, myself and I...
Yes, for those who knows me well, u will know of my nature of always saying Yes whenever people approach me for help or any form of advice, if I am able to..I hardly say NO unless I really really canot do it..mainly for the huge fear I always have of not wanting to disappoint people.. and because of that, I always have my hands full with so many things.. not just work, but with ministry work in church, project based event in church, volunteering weekly at the community centre and latest is regarding my friend's big day! All with the same intention of wanting to help people, wanting to serve ppl (in church la) and wanting to make people happy... and im pretty thankful to my family for understanding my commitments that I have which are all "not-related-to-the-family" type of work..
So much so that I like to help ppl and to serve ppl, I really am doing it for the right reasons, I hope...because at the end of the day, when ppl affirm you and smile and are happy with things ard them, u know u have did good... nvr was it about wanting to show off nor being bossy....its all help n service from the heart..honest sincere ones...
But then, I started reflecting...all that I have done for others, friends and families, what have I done for myself? I hv always spend so much time n effort FOR other ppl..but when it comes to myself, I just see myself as the lonely, single, person...getting tired and tired and tired after all the work being done FOR others...honestly, I do feel good about helping others and I always always think FOR others first before I think about myself..and I really don't know when will I start thinking for myself first than the rest...I guess it will never be..im just being me..always for others, before myself..maybe that is God's will for me..that is to serve others.... so help me God. AMEN.
Yes, for those who knows me well, u will know of my nature of always saying Yes whenever people approach me for help or any form of advice, if I am able to..I hardly say NO unless I really really canot do it..mainly for the huge fear I always have of not wanting to disappoint people.. and because of that, I always have my hands full with so many things.. not just work, but with ministry work in church, project based event in church, volunteering weekly at the community centre and latest is regarding my friend's big day! All with the same intention of wanting to help people, wanting to serve ppl (in church la) and wanting to make people happy... and im pretty thankful to my family for understanding my commitments that I have which are all "not-related-to-the-family" type of work..
So much so that I like to help ppl and to serve ppl, I really am doing it for the right reasons, I hope...because at the end of the day, when ppl affirm you and smile and are happy with things ard them, u know u have did good... nvr was it about wanting to show off nor being bossy....its all help n service from the heart..honest sincere ones...
But then, I started reflecting...all that I have done for others, friends and families, what have I done for myself? I hv always spend so much time n effort FOR other ppl..but when it comes to myself, I just see myself as the lonely, single, person...getting tired and tired and tired after all the work being done FOR others...honestly, I do feel good about helping others and I always always think FOR others first before I think about myself..and I really don't know when will I start thinking for myself first than the rest...I guess it will never be..im just being me..always for others, before myself..maybe that is God's will for me..that is to serve others.... so help me God. AMEN.
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