My Week of Torment
Wow...the week has been really terrible for me....hmmm...i guess it should be replaced with "challenging"... it has been a really challenging week for me...i am surprise that i survived till the end of the week..although i did had a meltdown...but im ok... sometimes we just have to let it go off before regaining back to my feet....
well...looking at it at a different context, i am grateful for all that has happened... and it certainly showed me clearly of how far i have grown...not physically la, but mentally, emotionally and spiritually.
i was hurt, i was dissapointed, i was insulted, i had sarcasm thrown to me, i was scolded, i was blamed, i was abandon, i was unappreciated, i was not accepted...yes, all these happened over the pass week...not exaggerating but am just telling the truth... those who saw me or talked to me over the week sure would not have known all these happened to me, because as my life principle is, i always will not want to affect others with negative vibe no matter what happens to me... no, not a thing about being fake, but just not wanting to spread negativity around or to burden people with my issues... who knows what others may be going through...and therefore, the only place where i can be my true self, is here...my own blog! so dont be surprise whenever you read all that is posted here because it may differ from what you see me out there, but all here is nothing but the real, honest me... there is nothing i should hide here..since it is my own personal space....but which i am willing to share with others, or whoever am interested in reading my long winded tales.
hmm...sorry, diverted a little there....but back to what i am trying to convey...i am actually grateful for all the brokenness i encountered over the week...it truly showed me what i am today or rather, who have i grown up to be today.... i have to be a serious and stern person because people are dissapointing me and also taking advantage of me over and over again... i have to scold people, not because i want to show superiority but because we have to wake people up from their slumber to show them what their actions have caused.. i have to be loud and clear, not because i am boastful but because i have to make people be aware of their role... i have to be responsible because i am being blamed if ever i passed down my work to others to attend to...i have to be strong and clear headed because people are not appreciating or accepting me for who i am, but wants me to change to be accepted...i have to be independent because people will tend to take things for granted, thinking that i will be their scape goat or door mat... i have to be sarcastic at times because i have to counter the sarcasm that was thrown towards me even though it wasnt my fault to be blamed....
yes, i have to be what i have to be because i have grown...i have grown to appreciate life and all its goodness, i have grown to appreciate the little things in life that could bring happiness and satisfaction, i have grown to appreciate time because everything happens so quickly, i have grown to appreciate what is in front of me and not worry about what is to come because the future will take care of itself, i have grown to be contented with whatever i have now because everything happens for a reason, i have grown to appreciate everything i have today and not complaint for things that i do not have because they are not meant for me... i have grown to love and appreciate God more and more each day, i have grown to know and understand that everything that happens is God's plan for me, i have grown to believe that i have to live life to my very best and leave the rest to God... i have grown to be who i am today and i am grateful. i am thankful. i am blessed. Amen!
well...looking at it at a different context, i am grateful for all that has happened... and it certainly showed me clearly of how far i have grown...not physically la, but mentally, emotionally and spiritually.
i was hurt, i was dissapointed, i was insulted, i had sarcasm thrown to me, i was scolded, i was blamed, i was abandon, i was unappreciated, i was not accepted...yes, all these happened over the pass week...not exaggerating but am just telling the truth... those who saw me or talked to me over the week sure would not have known all these happened to me, because as my life principle is, i always will not want to affect others with negative vibe no matter what happens to me... no, not a thing about being fake, but just not wanting to spread negativity around or to burden people with my issues... who knows what others may be going through...and therefore, the only place where i can be my true self, is here...my own blog! so dont be surprise whenever you read all that is posted here because it may differ from what you see me out there, but all here is nothing but the real, honest me... there is nothing i should hide here..since it is my own personal space....but which i am willing to share with others, or whoever am interested in reading my long winded tales.
hmm...sorry, diverted a little there....but back to what i am trying to convey...i am actually grateful for all the brokenness i encountered over the week...it truly showed me what i am today or rather, who have i grown up to be today.... i have to be a serious and stern person because people are dissapointing me and also taking advantage of me over and over again... i have to scold people, not because i want to show superiority but because we have to wake people up from their slumber to show them what their actions have caused.. i have to be loud and clear, not because i am boastful but because i have to make people be aware of their role... i have to be responsible because i am being blamed if ever i passed down my work to others to attend to...i have to be strong and clear headed because people are not appreciating or accepting me for who i am, but wants me to change to be accepted...i have to be independent because people will tend to take things for granted, thinking that i will be their scape goat or door mat... i have to be sarcastic at times because i have to counter the sarcasm that was thrown towards me even though it wasnt my fault to be blamed....
yes, i have to be what i have to be because i have grown...i have grown to appreciate life and all its goodness, i have grown to appreciate the little things in life that could bring happiness and satisfaction, i have grown to appreciate time because everything happens so quickly, i have grown to appreciate what is in front of me and not worry about what is to come because the future will take care of itself, i have grown to be contented with whatever i have now because everything happens for a reason, i have grown to appreciate everything i have today and not complaint for things that i do not have because they are not meant for me... i have grown to love and appreciate God more and more each day, i have grown to know and understand that everything that happens is God's plan for me, i have grown to believe that i have to live life to my very best and leave the rest to God... i have grown to be who i am today and i am grateful. i am thankful. i am blessed. Amen!
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