ten days into the new year
it's the tenth day of the new year....hmm....how did the new year treated me? one word : confusing.
Of late, things havent been turning out the way i expected it to be, or rather how i would wished it would be...and hence, i began to let things go, and just accept things as they come along. as the famous phrase, "go with the flow"..i have stopped expecting things, stopped hoping for things to happen, stopped wishing and dreaming because things are always not how they seemed to be...
Things of the past surfaced, things of the future remained a mystery.....such a complicated situation to be in. and recently, i have begin to read a book which got me questioning even more of what i intend to do with my life...of what is my main purpose in life..of what exactly am i looking for...of what is my main goal...and it got me thinking and put me further in doubt..... yes, it does emphasize what i used to believe in, of which i have lose hope after various dissapointments...and yet, when i was reading the book (the chapter for today), something hit me suddenly.... today was all about surrendering...
i used to be very hopeful and planned what i am doing, or what i plan to do in the future, how to work things out, how to do this and that..until i come to a point when i decided to just surrender everything to God. i remember praying and talking to Him, in the most dejected and frustrated situation at that point...and now it hit me when i was reading the book (just now)... i assumed that when i was in such a frantic situation, those were just babbles, just mere mumbles of the heart and God would not even bother about what was said, but surely dumb of me to think such, knowing that God knows what is best for me....and indeed...i just let go since then...i just went with the flow...accepting things that come my way, but still trying my best to stand up for what is right and not just blindly accept things as they are....
and surely, the past surfaced with much confusion within me after it did...but i allowed it to happen though looking back at it, there were times which i was in control of not letting it to happen, but yet i went with the flow...guess it was meant to be, it happened for a reason, to teach me about the past, to let me learn and to let me be aware of my true heart's desire....of which i understand the ache and deep longing within...
in fact, i was once told by a friend to not just pray and let God do the rest, because we must also act on our part....and that is why i did what i did....but guess, that is just not entirely true..when things are too complicating and too exhausting, just let go off the steering wheel and let God take the wheel. total trust in Him that He knows the best for us. all we need is just patience and faith in Him. of which i am trying to sustain and keep within me.
Thank you God. Help me God. Amen.
Of late, things havent been turning out the way i expected it to be, or rather how i would wished it would be...and hence, i began to let things go, and just accept things as they come along. as the famous phrase, "go with the flow"..i have stopped expecting things, stopped hoping for things to happen, stopped wishing and dreaming because things are always not how they seemed to be...
Things of the past surfaced, things of the future remained a mystery.....such a complicated situation to be in. and recently, i have begin to read a book which got me questioning even more of what i intend to do with my life...of what is my main purpose in life..of what exactly am i looking for...of what is my main goal...and it got me thinking and put me further in doubt..... yes, it does emphasize what i used to believe in, of which i have lose hope after various dissapointments...and yet, when i was reading the book (the chapter for today), something hit me suddenly.... today was all about surrendering...
i used to be very hopeful and planned what i am doing, or what i plan to do in the future, how to work things out, how to do this and that..until i come to a point when i decided to just surrender everything to God. i remember praying and talking to Him, in the most dejected and frustrated situation at that point...and now it hit me when i was reading the book (just now)... i assumed that when i was in such a frantic situation, those were just babbles, just mere mumbles of the heart and God would not even bother about what was said, but surely dumb of me to think such, knowing that God knows what is best for me....and indeed...i just let go since then...i just went with the flow...accepting things that come my way, but still trying my best to stand up for what is right and not just blindly accept things as they are....
and surely, the past surfaced with much confusion within me after it did...but i allowed it to happen though looking back at it, there were times which i was in control of not letting it to happen, but yet i went with the flow...guess it was meant to be, it happened for a reason, to teach me about the past, to let me learn and to let me be aware of my true heart's desire....of which i understand the ache and deep longing within...
in fact, i was once told by a friend to not just pray and let God do the rest, because we must also act on our part....and that is why i did what i did....but guess, that is just not entirely true..when things are too complicating and too exhausting, just let go off the steering wheel and let God take the wheel. total trust in Him that He knows the best for us. all we need is just patience and faith in Him. of which i am trying to sustain and keep within me.
Thank you God. Help me God. Amen.
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