Different experience

it's been a journey of ups and downs lately....well, that's what life is all about, i supposed....
i just got back from a church camp, last week...well, it could not be defined as a camp, more like a casual weekend with a bunch of people from church, with a few speakers for some input, and some fun time.....

it was something different i can say, not new, but just different...a very different experience altogether for me. for the people i encountered and for the entire experience itself....i decided to look back and reflect upon the whole thingy... why was it so different for me? i've been to various camps, church camps, school camps, etc. but this is different...maybe signs of aging perhaps? hahaha
i used to stay up late, mingling with people after the sessions, late into the night...talking, chit chatting, just to get friendly, build network (as some people might call it)...but somehow this time around, i just decided to go back to the room and catch up on sleep...more like rest la, because i dont really fall asleep that easily...and that got me thinking...why have i change to be this more reserve person? dont want to hang out, dont want to socialize... hmmm....... i felt bad at one point, for being the reserve one, being the quiet one (yeah, so not me right? hehe)....but somehow, i see it as my alone time....time to rest, time to reflect, time to let it all sink in... maybe i have come to a point where i prioritize what is important in my life... im not saying that socializing is a bad thing, but rather i would spend my time now doing things that matter, and to me, rest matters. i need to rest and find time for my ownself... i have given my strength and effort to so many things for the past few years, to friendships, to people, to projects, and now i have come to a point where every second and minute counts.... i have decided to use my time wisely, not that i have to work all the time, but rather not waste them....

i have decided to use my time to do what i like now..my passion.... yeah, sounds so cliche, but thats what i have decided to do.... i use to think that socializing and making friends matters,but then, you end up hurting when friends dont treat you as part of their friends, or rather they do not value the friendship as much as you do...and when you realize that, it hurts, it really hurts..when you know how much effort you have put into the friendship that you built.... and therefore, i just decided to go with the flow..whether they are there or not, im always there for my friends, but no more the gungho me in the friendship...ive been through alot, and its time to just concentrate on the people i love and the people that matter most in my life, and not just everyone i meet.

God bless us all. Amen.

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