Portrayal

I have always been very cautious about what people think about me...i always care a lot more of what others think rather than what I think....which i know, is not a very good trait of mine.....although it is very difficult, yet, that is what i have been willing to put up with for so many years..... till i recently discovered how this whole thing "showed results"a few days ago......I'm still figuring out whether it was a good result or a bad one....

Allow me to discuss further......just a line of status (on facebook) showed me how people view me... i am often viewed as the fierce one, the nonsense one (when it comes to work related), the know-what-she-wants one...in short, the strong independent one. not bragging, but that was how people view me...and indeed that has showed me a lot more than i notice about myself.... that was how people know me, and yet, i did not know that all these while, i portrayed myself as that individual...

only a few people who knew who i really am, and i am very thankful for them journeying with me, to see the real me inside....for knowing how much i struggle to keep up with life's hardest hurdle(s), for fighting all the negatives around, for believing in me... you know who you are! 

it is still a constant battle with who i am within and what i am willing to portray outside of my own comfortable shell... because i have seen the reactions of people when i give them a peak of who i really am, and indeed it is not a nice reaction to receive.... 

nonetheless, never give up hope. God bless us all. Amen.

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