The Teapot's Cabin

i just can't understand why people would not want to speak up. what are they fearing exactly? fear of being projected otherwise? fear of being rejected? fear of losing a friendship or a job? the fear of not being listened to? the fear of others' perception against you? well, needless to say, i have been in that position before. although being loud, some would not believe that i would be afraid to speak up in public. in actual fact, i am loud when i am comfortable with my surrounding and the people i am with. if not, i would just be the quiet and shy person whom everyone would not think of me as..haha.....weird but true huh? pelik tapi benar only after i am comfortable with myself in my surrounding, will then i start to show my true colors..the prettiest colors la of course..hehe......which is the current state i am in... Often enough, people may think why i am being "noisy" all of a sudden, but i guess that i have came to the realization that being silent would not ge...

Life in turmoil..thats how exactly life is for me now... when you thought you did the right thing, think again, have second thoughts..maybe it is not what it seems to be.. well, i did make a vey big decision lately, a risk which I myself did not dare to take but took it anyway and now i am having second thoughts... so much has been talked, so much has been discussed, so much i have heard...all having their own points and views..but at the end of the day, it all comes down to me... i do not want to dissapoint anyone, especially my loved ones..but most importantly, i should not disapoint myself too.... i did not realise the effect of my decision till i really talked about it the other day..my reaction showed that i did make a drastic decision without thinking it thoroughly..but i did what i had to.. well, everything around us would not satisfy us all the time, there is always a loop hole somewhere which may be bothering us so much as compared to the whole picture... and now i am being pl...

imagination is a blessing! i do not know when or how did i started to have a hobby of reading (whreby previously i dislike reading so much because i do not have the patience to finish a book), but now, books have been something that i like to sink myself into... i guess its all because it is through stories that we are allowed to use our imaginations freely, that's what i like about novels. i just finished reading a novel (Change of Heart by Jodi Picoult)...oh boy, what a story it was. i was so immersed into the story that i even wept at the end...yes, i wept reading a story book! it usually only happen in the movies, but now, even a story book gets me all teared up..hahaha...laugh as u may, but i admit it! stories are just fictional, some may be based on a true story, but otherwise, they are just fictional. but somehow, it may be so real that you can feel so attached to the characters. u felt like u live and breath with them in the story...they teach u a thing or two about life..y...

I have been having weird sleeping patterns lately; sleep early and wake up smack in the middle of the night (early morning) to finish tasks and continue sleeping again after that... well, one thing's for sure is that i love early mornings. i feel a sense of peacefulness when i work early in the morning; quiet, peace and tranquility which really gets me into the mood of working... hmm...its the time of the year again when i start to reflect and wish something different would happen this year...but i think, it would not be any different either..i shall continue to wait...

The irony of life : when you are so stressed up at work, all you wanted was a break..when you are on a break, you get bored and wished u were at work doing something... gosh...this is actually a bad sign when you are starting to feel such..it shows that work is everything that matters, and without it, there is no life! NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! of course i wouldnot want that to be the real reason for feeling such...i would not want to make work the main event of life while the rest are just secondary...NOOO!! I should do something...but what? Having a long break over the weekend got me thinking...well, not exactly, but i started to reflect on my whole life...i really have not much interesting going on... and not that i do not have friends, i have many (i admit) but none are seem to want to hang out too...and that put me into a "dejected" mood that made me not to bother making any more effort to find entertainment with others....so, i just hang around the house and read. YES! u read ...

Being away from work for one whole week proofs to be disastrous after all...all fears were confirmed when i step into the office today.. fine, you may think im bragging here but think whatever u want, i do not give a damn anymore....i have always been worrying so much of other ppl's thoughts about me that i am the one who suffers in the end.... gone are those days, Moira! it's time to put an end to such silly thoughts anymore. its a dog eat dog world out there... it dawned upon me today...what if i was not who i was..what if i was someone who was so arrogant and selfish, would life be better off? since no one would be wanting to take any advantage of me nor dare to push me to my limits...at this current state of mind, yes! i would prefer to be such a person.... often enough i have told myself to always think positively..positive thinking, think positive...positivity positivity and more positivity...yet it doesnt seem to end..i always tell myself all these are mere challenges..i...

i feel like such a failure... the stress has seriously gotten into me and is killing me inside out... alot of times , ppl come and ask me, "why didnt u come and say something? or why didnt u tell us?"..but not that i dont want to tell but i dont see the need of telling what is the problem when it is really very clear. actions always speak louder than words. rather than we contemplate on the problem which is already known, why not instead think of a better solution. the phrase still rings in my head "do not give me a problem, give me a solution". that is very true! there is too much to be handled. guess i have overestimated myself. i know i can do it, all i need is time but that is the one thing which i am lacked of. i am trying to be patient, taking things one at a time but that has not work out well anymore. one thing at one time proves to be too slow. i need to take up like 10 things at one time... gosh..i really am very doubtful of my strength. i am already at my...