Start of the New Year
the new year started very badly for me....today is just the 4th day into the new year and i am already at my limit...things have been becoming bad to worse and i really do not know what this whole year would be for me..i am very doubtful of what is instore for me....
today has been typically bad...up to the point where i 'review' what i had done for the past one year where i was made to think i did nothing but just a gap-filler, to fill up the holes on the road... i really felt such, not exaggerating but that was how bad it felt...it wasnt a knife that i was stabbed, it was a chopper! big slash and deep.....and taking it out after that chop really made it bled.....
let me explained myself here since nobody would listen to me then...
it's not that i did not know what to do or how to do it, but it's just that i have no time (well,as lame as that reason may be, but that is really the truth) and since that no one wanted to take up the responsibility previously and not wanting to do 'donkey job', so in the end, after a few years, this big donkey was the one caught to do it now....... i know what was wrong, really, frankly, not bragging but really..i knew what was to be done, but then, things happened so quick for me the past year, that i didnt had the time to implement it... everyone was depending on what i was doing, and not that i was proud enough to not ask for help nor wanted any help..NO...tat is certainly not the case..i didnt complaint because it will just be a waste of time. might as well, use that complaint time and finish up tasks, rather than contemplate on the whole issue when it is so clearly portrayed right before us.... not that i didnt want any help, there wasnt any help... everyone is so caught up in their own tasks that it will be unfair for me to cut them off from their responsibility just so for them to carry out mine.....(yeah, although in the end, the one who suffers is me)..
and time is indeed limited for me. i wanted help, but it will take time to teach, and right now, there isnt much time available for those lessons...so instead of contemplating all these problems, i might as well just suck them all in while a better and bigger solution surface...
i know i can do it and i know what should be done, but seriously, i really can't work alone... i know i have to delegate, but look at my current condition and you will understand how hard it is to implement. it is always easier said than done, but at the end of the day, the person who says it and the person who does it is different...so that is where the hard part lies!
i really am hoping things would work out and there is something good that comes out from all these that we are facing...it may be difficult, but i hope it is worth it in the end..or else, it's just a masquerade party; everyone putting on their mask and having a great time but deep down, each having their own agenda and the waiter and waitresses are the ones suffering for not knowing who is who!
today has been typically bad...up to the point where i 'review' what i had done for the past one year where i was made to think i did nothing but just a gap-filler, to fill up the holes on the road... i really felt such, not exaggerating but that was how bad it felt...it wasnt a knife that i was stabbed, it was a chopper! big slash and deep.....and taking it out after that chop really made it bled.....
let me explained myself here since nobody would listen to me then...
it's not that i did not know what to do or how to do it, but it's just that i have no time (well,as lame as that reason may be, but that is really the truth) and since that no one wanted to take up the responsibility previously and not wanting to do 'donkey job', so in the end, after a few years, this big donkey was the one caught to do it now....... i know what was wrong, really, frankly, not bragging but really..i knew what was to be done, but then, things happened so quick for me the past year, that i didnt had the time to implement it... everyone was depending on what i was doing, and not that i was proud enough to not ask for help nor wanted any help..NO...tat is certainly not the case..i didnt complaint because it will just be a waste of time. might as well, use that complaint time and finish up tasks, rather than contemplate on the whole issue when it is so clearly portrayed right before us.... not that i didnt want any help, there wasnt any help... everyone is so caught up in their own tasks that it will be unfair for me to cut them off from their responsibility just so for them to carry out mine.....(yeah, although in the end, the one who suffers is me)..
and time is indeed limited for me. i wanted help, but it will take time to teach, and right now, there isnt much time available for those lessons...so instead of contemplating all these problems, i might as well just suck them all in while a better and bigger solution surface...
i know i can do it and i know what should be done, but seriously, i really can't work alone... i know i have to delegate, but look at my current condition and you will understand how hard it is to implement. it is always easier said than done, but at the end of the day, the person who says it and the person who does it is different...so that is where the hard part lies!
i really am hoping things would work out and there is something good that comes out from all these that we are facing...it may be difficult, but i hope it is worth it in the end..or else, it's just a masquerade party; everyone putting on their mask and having a great time but deep down, each having their own agenda and the waiter and waitresses are the ones suffering for not knowing who is who!
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