Independence
Sometimes it fascinates me how independent I can be or how I used to be. How much I can keep everything to myself for the sake of not wanting to affect others around me no matter where I am. To some this may be surprising because I always seemed like the friendly bubbly one who opens up easily to people I meet with my personality. But then, think again..how many of you really notice that you know nothing much of my personal life?
That's because I always like to keep it to myself. Nothing fascinating as others. I would rather be someone's listening ear than to be listened to to all my babbles and irritations and annoyance. That's how life has always been. For a very very long time... it is interesting to see how much I know about others, intimately even for some, but very little is made known of myself to others...
Not that I am being selfish, of just wanting to know about others while keeping my own life a secret that only I will take to my grave, but its just people needs a listening ear more than I need one. People's needs before mine. People's happiness before mine. People's comfort before mine. People's peace before mine. This has always been how it is for me.
And i have to admit now. It is really exhausting to the point of quitting. the tiredness of always being there for others while i have to fend and defend my own enemies, myself. I really hope for the best and just do my best to slay the beast within and around. It is hard but it is not impossible. The challenge is getting greater each day, to know that the battle is tough and Im doubtful if I am able to continue like this for long....
so help me God.
That's because I always like to keep it to myself. Nothing fascinating as others. I would rather be someone's listening ear than to be listened to to all my babbles and irritations and annoyance. That's how life has always been. For a very very long time... it is interesting to see how much I know about others, intimately even for some, but very little is made known of myself to others...
Not that I am being selfish, of just wanting to know about others while keeping my own life a secret that only I will take to my grave, but its just people needs a listening ear more than I need one. People's needs before mine. People's happiness before mine. People's comfort before mine. People's peace before mine. This has always been how it is for me.
And i have to admit now. It is really exhausting to the point of quitting. the tiredness of always being there for others while i have to fend and defend my own enemies, myself. I really hope for the best and just do my best to slay the beast within and around. It is hard but it is not impossible. The challenge is getting greater each day, to know that the battle is tough and Im doubtful if I am able to continue like this for long....
so help me God.
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