Indecisive

Frustration. Disappointments. Cluelessness. aarrrgggghhhh!!! All these are eating me inside out. i thought i can handle it all, but i guess i was wrong. things i thought were looking better but eventually brought more problems and questions again!!! my oh my...it will never end and will continue haunting me till...i duno wen.....gosh!!!

Things which i had been avoiding could not be hidden anymore...sooner or later, i will have to face it...so why not now? better for me to face it now rather than later, just a matter of time....gosh!! im filled with anxiety all over...so much thoughts and questions running through my head lately, which led me to headaches too..........*sigh* i need to make a decision quick or else more consequences will i have to bear in later times..time is running out...gosh oh gosh...i hope i can make it this time...its the hardest thing that i have ever been through and im really doubting myself this time....its costing me alot, alot of things are at stake at this point..i can't bear to lose them all...

help me to be strong. i need to build up my courage for this "race"...its all i need now...i know You will be with me....i trust in You =)

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

unworthy

It's been three months since my last post.... so fast time flies..... Well, i wouldn't want to speak about what happened over the past three months.. but rather speak something very randomly that is bonggling the mind.. How often do we do our best in whatever tasks that is given, but the credit still goes to someone else? as much as we choose to ignore it, the dust is never easy to be bitten... the effort and time to help, and yet, those who were suppose to do it, choose to ignore it, while i become the scape goat for all the nonsense that wasn't even mine in the first place. it is really unfairness to its maxmum. and as much as it is against my life principle to be brought down so easily, but i just could not do much, knowing that i am legally bound to what is being contracted to me.. haizzz..life and all its obstacles... as much as i hope to persevere through all these, as much as i hope to leave as well... So much that i have gone through the past 9 years, and ne...
Read more

Not easy

Image
Mixed feelings ...that's how i have been feeling lately..things came and go...causing perturbation to the mind...confusion, distraction, unsure of what to do...or even worse, dont know how to feel; dont know how to even portray the right emotions..(hahaha this brings back memories of what i learnt in my personality class....) things have been happening around me, thankfully, not directly to me lah...but somehow, indirectly, it affected me to a certain extend as well Some of my friends were in trouble lately, big trouble i shall say...i feel so bad for them, but somehow i just can't help much, because there is nothing much that i can help to solve it....all i can do is just to lend my ear to them, to be a platform for them to let things out of their shell...because speaking from experience, it is certainly very hard to just keep everything to oneself...slowly it will cause the body and mind to rot...hehe...too exaggerating pulak...hahahahaha .. anyhow, it was a lesson not just f...
Read more

Falling soldier

Image
i saw this on the facebook page the other day and it hit me straight away... is this the explaination for all that has happened and is to happen? i'm doubting am i a strong soldier in the first place to be given such battles.... and then again, as i reflect back on the hard and tough few weeks before, and then with the annoucement from the Holy Father of his resignation, i wonder how hard it would have been for the Pope the past few weeks for him to come to that decision to resign... it would be so much more anguish and anxiety which i might have just had a little of it in comparison to how it must have been for him... it would been such a difficult time for him to discern his real calling and to come to a decision knowing that it will have various consequences..i personally think that he is indeed a man of courage to come out with such a heavy decision but surely with God's guidance along the way. he is indeed a man of faith and place his whole trust in God when he decide...
Read more