The Teapot's Cabin

It is so disturbing that I can't even lay down on the bed to just sleep and put the mind to rest for the night... the mind is so full of stuff that happened throughout the day that it wishes to keep me awake, put my thinking cap on and decipher the entire situation I am in or will be heading in... Arrrggghhh... I hate it when such situation arises...when things are mention to me, giving me hope that things will work out for the better, motivating me to plan ahead for it, but in the end, crumbles when what you hoped for turns out to be something else.... and that's when the mind decides by itself without bothering about the body which is weaken by the minute, considering this late hour.....the mind just refuses to let go, refuses to leave it till tomorrow, refuses to settle and rest.....why la? maybe it is trying to tell me something subconsciously (i hope...knowing that i will end up as a zombie tomorrow with this wide awake, midnight post)..... Oh thou mind of mine, what ...

i always like to look at things around me and reflect....it may be a good trait or it may be otherwise. good because i tend to see things beyond of what they meant to be...but bad because i tend to overthink...and the latter has always gotten me into trouble.... it is the time of the year again...the year is ending soon....and time to reflect on the year again...and plan for the year ahead......sigh....... so much so that i like to look forward, at times the past and the reality seem to pull you back in....to realize that life is so shitty at so many areas, with its many nooks and crannies.... all lump into one.... it takes time to enlighten all these shit in life...but do we have the time to do that? life is indeed short. have seen both extremes lately and it is scaring the hell out of me (yes, i admit that).... guess, i just have to live in the moment and leave God to do the rest. Come what may. God bless us all. Amen.

It is very interesting to see how two person react to the same situation. I'm speaking from my own experiences and looking it on my colleague's experiences. Well, keeping the details and names off, let me give you a few examples....  a) the boyfriend does not text the girlfriend for a few days. Girlfriend A takes it hard and got mad at the boyfriend because knowing that he has his phone with him all the time, yet does not reply to her texts. Girlfriend B on the other hand, just play it cool, knowing that the boyfriend is busy and will need his own space. b) the couple decides to go on a date, to hang out and spend time with each other. Boyfriend A ask girlfriend A to decide, saying that girlfriend  A is more familiar with places around the city. Girlfriend A got mad and insulted by such thoughts. Boyfriend B ask girlfriend B to decide. Girlfriend B have no clue. In the end both laugh it off and randomly headed to somewhere. no need to ask the details, i certainly wo...

is it really so hard to have expectations? Why can't we all have expectations? Life without expectations are just plain boring because we have no purpose in life, we have nothing to look forward to.... well, expectations have good and bad elements. Good being that it can be the source of motivation to look out for something better in the near future. Bad being that we will be hurt if our expectations are not met....hurts...disappointments..... oh God....help me to move on....it is depressing :(

I was just looking at my blind dog yesterday,...yes, you read it correct, my blind dog. My dog is blind, just a few weeks ago. it is a sad finding but it has been expected long due to his breed, which is very prone to such blindness at his current age now...nonetheless, as hard as it is for him, it is also equally hard for us to adapt to his condition... yeah, as I was saying, i was watching and observing how he has been reacting to sounds, since he can no longer react to his sight. his other senses are now heighten and being used more frequent, and mostly. his hearing. He would just bark at anything that irritates him, without knowing the source of the sound. Whatever that bothers him, he would just bark, and would not stop till the sound stops. Imagine if a neighbor was renovating his house, he would just bark at whatever sound the equipment make. And that was what happened yesterday. imagine the irritation! although i might be irritated for a moment, but that got me thinking and...

I am blessed. For the wonderful 29 years of life. For all the ups and downs, the dos and donts, the bad and the good, the pretty and the ugly, I am truly thankful. For these past recent years, that I started to count for on my blessings than my shortfalls. I used to compare and feel disappointed with myself when looking at others' achievements and where they have been or what they have done...yet, who knows how are their real "life"? who knows whether are they really enjoying it or was it all just a gimmick? And with that realization, I started to cut loose on myself more...started to think less, to worry less, to take things as they come and knowing that there is always a higher power at play in my life. Then, things started to look differently. I started to pay more attention to the people around me, to start looking at all the opportunities around me, start to take things one step at a time....and pay more attention to my loved ones... To choose kindness, to choo...

I have always been very cautious about what people think about me...i always care a lot more of what others think rather than what I think....which i know, is not a very good trait of mine.....although it is very difficult, yet, that is what i have been willing to put up with for so many years..... till i recently discovered how this whole thing "showed results"a few days ago......I'm still figuring out whether it was a good result or a bad one.... Allow me to discuss further......just a line of status (on facebook) showed me how people view me... i am often viewed as the fierce one, the nonsense one (when it comes to work related), the know-what-she-wants one...in short, the strong independent one. not bragging, but that was how people view me...and indeed that has showed me a lot more than i notice about myself.... that was how people know me, and yet, i did not know that all these while, i portrayed myself as that individual... only a few people who knew who i r...

Hypocrisy! yes, A strong word, a powerful word...weigh so much.... you may expect me to be angry, to be furious, but instead i feel disappointed instead... im speaking as a third party as well as a victim.. Friends. How do you value a friendship? Is it just a touch and go? just someone to use when you needed something, and then after, forgot all that we have gone through as friends? it is really sad to see a friendship come to a stage where everything that is to be done or has been done is calculated to its core..for example, not close enough friend so no need to waste money or precisely, no need to waste leave just for a friend's wedding! for a joyous occasion, a once in a lifetime joyous celebration, yet they cannot sacrifice just for this....but i should them credit for being honest enough with me to inform me the real reason for not going, and not lying beautifully to cover up the truth... but that's not the point... or maybe that is the point, i supposed. they just do no...

it's been a journey of ups and downs lately....well, that's what life is all about, i supposed.... i just got back from a church camp, last week...well, it could not be defined as a camp, more like a casual weekend with a bunch of people from church, with a few speakers for some input, and some fun time..... it was something different i can say, not new, but just different...a very different experience altogether for me. for the people i encountered and for the entire experience itself....i decided to look back and reflect upon the whole thingy... why was it so different for me? i've been to various camps, church camps, school camps, etc. but this is different...maybe signs of aging perhaps? hahaha i used to stay up late, mingling with people after the sessions, late into the night...talking, chit chatting, just to get friendly, build network (as some people might call it)...but somehow this time around, i just decided to go back to the room and catch up on sleep...more...

Something triggered me to write today...on a Monday morning...which is very rare...but I suppose it is something worth writing up, that I am writing it now... It was triggered by a question from a colleague (well, more like a series of questions....) but just to make the story short, the main question was, "what did I face/do to get where I am today, in terms of my carrier?" well technically, there is two question there...what did I do and what did I faced..... Well, although the question wasn't directed straight to me, but that got me thinking on my own part.... where was I today, 6 years ago.... (that was when I started....6 years ago...wow...time flies)..... 24.08.2009...where was I? hmmm.....I was a mere microbiologist, just starting out into the real world...just started my job 2 months ago...and still a fresh graduate, just learning the gist of the industry. it was not very intimidating to me, honestly, in terms of technical knowledge or background, well I sup...

if you've been following my blog posts, you will notice that of most recent, i have been talking alot about love and relationships... hahaha...well....let's just say that i have recently been experiencing alot of love from the people i meet... so well yeah, i have the mood to write again..and yes, i still want to talk about love and share my thoughts about this.... lately, i came across a few scenarios where people seemed to take this whole "love relationship" in a different manner...they take it as if it is just a mere experiment, a go-with-the-flow kind of relationship, a play-play relationship, a for-fun-only relationship.... yeah, i am in no position to judge what they personally think of their own relationship, but it somehow is very disturbing for me... the most cliche line of all times, "action speak louder than words"...yes, indeed. that is very true only when you know the person personally. but for strangers or any third party that views the ...

Been having the mood to write alot lately..hehehe.... too many happenings to just pen it down...or maybe just cause i have the time to write and not just fall dead previously.... hahaha....life has seem to be of more colour lately...and so i write... something was brought to my realization just very recently..and i found it to be just so beautiful...this somehow relates to my post, the one just before this.... when i talk about Love being the centre of it all..and indeed, when love is the main player, all else just becomes secondary. very recently, i was just thinking as i was caught in the traffic jam on my way home (yes, there's where reality always strikes me...when im caught in the jam and nothing moves, but only your head).. how beautiful it is for a relationship to just be rooted on love alone. just love, nothing else. not the person's background, not the person's interest, not the person's political believes, not the person's religion, nothing. but just l...

When you do something out of love, you would know it..why? because when people start questioning you about the why and the what, you would be left dumbfounded...all because, you did it from the heart, not the head.... deep? well, think about it. something to ponder about..... that same gist got me thinking a few days back....why i have been doing what i have been doing for the past few years....although it is a struggle for myself, but i just kept doing it...and i just realize, that because i have the love for what i was doing...and all these while, i thought it was just a simple moral obligation or rather, precisely, my Christian duty, my duty as a Christian to serve my 'neighbors'.... but then again...when i get questioned or being put in a difficult situation, where you just have to know which way to go or rather the right path to choose, that's when you search your heart for the answer...and that was where i found it... it took me a while to realize this whole situa...

Life is short. When you think things are working well and going for the better, suddenly you get the news that all you thought it was, was in fact the opposite. things take a different turn and going down hill. it is devastating when such a thing happen. but as a friend pointed out, it is all in God's time, not ours. we can only continue to pray and hope for God's mercy and miracle. and another news i heard was about  a friend who was retrenched from her job. and then another news about an abortion due to multiple health problems of the child in the womb...... and all these news cascade from one to another...all within the same day, just within an hour! life is just so fragile and unexpected. anything can happen with just a blink of an eye. we struggle with life, with all our challenges. we complain at the indifference we encountered, we complain about how hard we worked while others are just reaping the benefits that we sowed, we complain about the injustice we feel when o...

Time passed so fast...three months down the road...its been a wonderful three months I shall say...my life changes in ways that I never imagined it will.... I can only thank God for everything that has happened over these three months and just continue to pray for the best for the long run... God bless me. Amen.

6 years down the road.....yes, you read that right, 6 freaking years! of what? of me struggling in the field of labor! hahaha.. funny to some, that i still keep track of when i started work, but to me it is my significant date, of me starting out into the real world, the world of the unknown, the world of endless possibilities... 6 years have been a long way for me to be where i am today. looking back at my very first day at work, i was a very naive worker, straight up and willing to do just anything to get the job done. to me, my future is in my hands, whether i make it further or just stay put where i started, it is all up to me. With 4 companies before this, (yup, 5 companies in 6 years!) i have seen the best and the worst of the working world. how cheat and lies can bring you business and wealth, but totally zero in terms of humanity and ethics. Although it has not been a bed of roses, but i am truly thankful for all the dramas, the pains, the struggles, the troubles, the str...

It's been ages since I last posted here.....not that nothing interesting that worth writing down, but rather too many things that I had not have the time to just sit, type and post.....but well, now seemed to be the right timing for me... (maybe just because I have no mood to do other things) So in a span of few months, things happened. things changed. things grew. a lot....in various ways.... but if for me to just point out one incident or one memory of which strike my mind the most, then this is it.... how many times are we able to look back and say you like spending time with your family? im sure, in this modern era, we are more comfortable mingling around with our peers, those of our generations rather than with our parents or family (younger or older)....to many young people, freedom is what they seek. and family, to them, are the burden or obstacle to their freedom.. they would rather spend the time hanging out in the mall, staring blankly at people walking around or just...

Looking back at my last blog post, more than a month ago, I just went 'wow'! In a span of just a month, so many things have changed in me, and around me. And all I can summed up is just one line, " when all is lost, never lose hope ". God works mysteriously and I trust in His works. God be praised forever. Amen.

I tested God. Yes, you read that right. I tested God, or rather I challenged God. and indeed, He will always reveal Himself to you in a way you least expect it. Curious? Well, here's a gist of it. In the past, throughout my life experiences/journey, I did saw His work in me, seeing how He plans things the way He wants it to be, puts me in His path, bringing me back to the right way when I strayed away, which has already shown me how wonderful He is and how big an impact He is in my life. yet, I decided to test Him again. I made appointments/plans with a friend. Knowing that nothing can pull me away from this appointment, i confidently agreed to the plan, even though at the back of my head I know it is not the wisest thing to go along with. (aiya, abit complicated story la...but that's the brief description of it)....everything look so well planned, time, venue, etc.....but in the innermost of my heart, i realized a small voice within that kept speaking to God, asking Him how ...

Things have beginning to start well (so far) for this new year. My career has finally bear its fruit after years of struggle, years of hard core labour, of ups and downs, of happiness and frustrations, of disappointment and joys, a truly remarkable journey altogether. and indeed, as I take on this new level in my career, I can only look back and see the work of God in all of them. for all that has happened, was meant to happen, all planned and guided by Him, just so to bring me where I am today. Thank God for his blessings and never giving up on this sinner. Amen! And other parts in my life are also shading some light, finally. And when your heart tells you it is right, it will be right. fingers crossed, and toes crossed. Thank you God. Amen!

it's the tenth day of the new year....hmm....how did the new year treated me? one word : confusing. Of late, things havent been turning out the way i expected it to be, or rather how i would wished it would be...and hence, i began to let things go, and just accept things as they come along. as the famous phrase, "go with the flow"..i have stopped expecting things, stopped hoping for things to happen, stopped wishing and dreaming because things are always not how they seemed to be... Things of the past surfaced, things of the future remained a mystery.....such a complicated situation to be in. and recently, i have begin to read a book which got me questioning even more of what i intend to do with my life...of what is my main purpose in life..of what exactly am i looking for...of what is my main goal...and it got me thinking and put me further in doubt..... yes, it does emphasize what i used to believe in, of which i have lose hope after various dissapointments...and ye...

It's the new year! woohoo... hahaha..always my favourite part of each year, so to speak.... it's like a mandatory post that i will try to make it an annual practice :) And so, i just posted on my facebook page that we shall "look forward with hope and not backward with regret. and only look back to see how far we have come and then move on". and indeed, that was what I did, literally. I went to look at my post of early January 2014, of my review for the previous year before i pen down my thoughts here...to see how far i have come..or become... well well well, it has certainly been a long journey, a long and far one i must say....i've achieved quite alot for 2014 of which i am truly proud of where i have headed and heading to this year...though some regrets or set backs, but nonetheless, we are mere humans...we fall, we pick up the pieces then move on.... 2014 has indeed been a wonderful year. i'd encountered many people along the way, made new friends, (...