The Teapot's Cabin

"Don't be calculative, don't compare, just do what you are suppose to do!"...I always tell myself that..or so I tried to, but somehow or rather, it will never sink in and I will think of the opposite of it... That's just human after all. We just like to compare and be calculative of everything and everyone revolving around/about us. There is sure to be some dissatisfaction, some hurts, some annoyance all because we calculate our own labor and compare with the labor of others. Why? Just so that we feel good about ourselves? or just because we have nothing better to do and then realize that others do exist in our world too?  humans humans humans...well i'm one of them too. just loving to compare and calculate and then starts complaining (either out loud or silently relenting in the heart) for the unfair judgment around..but then..... something made me realize that no matter what happens, karma is always at work... people often associate karma with doing g...

Dreams....dreams...dreams... i often wondered why do we dream when we sleep? it is such an amazing "thing" (if it can be categorized as a thing) for us to dream.. it is like a fantasy land that is sometimes surreal that we do not realize that it is all just a dream, not real life...Dreams are meant to tell us something usually...it sometimes is very direct and sometimes they are just metaphores which we need to decipher its meaning in order to understand them.. well, lately i have been having very weird dreams myself...dreams which at some point made me very happy but at some point made me very sad..and finally to awaken and realize that it was all just a dream.. phew...such a feeling of relief..but then, those dreams are so vivid in my memory that I just tend to replay it over and over again and thinking what was it trying to tell me...leading me to try and analyse it on the best tool ever, the Internet... hmm....i don't know whether it was a wise move or not because...

I am searching for Christmas....does that sound bad? oh my....at this very moment, i seriously am not looking forward at all for Christmas..there seem to be no Christmas mood at all...radio's are not playing Christmas songs, TV are not airing Christmas advertisement...nothing....which results in my current state of mind...NOTHING......oh no...... Christmas o Christmas, where art thou? I am searching deep within for it...or looking it at another point of view, have i "grown" instead?? I used to look forward to the caroling, the songs, the presents, the decorations...but now, even with the minimal presents and songs playing, there is really no feel of Christmas at all, but instead I am looking it into a bigger picture...which is the family unit! Christmas is always the time where families get together..the joy, the laughter, the stories, it never ends whenever Christmas is here..it's where we are able to catch up on each other,update each other, etc etc..and now, ra...

As humans, it is only natural that we care so much about what others would think about you than what you would think of yourself. It is always the case of making yourself known and well received in the eyes of others before you yourself accept who you really are..well, that's just the hard facts of life..and sadly to say, that is who I am too... yup, the irony. I often "preach" about not bothering about what others think of us as long as we know who we really are. but as far as I would like to accept this statement of mine, I would have to admit that I do mind what others think of me. and because of that fact, I sometimes act very weirdly just so as to make myself look "normal" in the eyes of others....wow! haha...what a confession from me yeah!...LOL well, that's just human nature after all...but just try not to let other's overwhelm your life. after all, it is YOUR life, not theirs. it is only for them to see, but for you to live it. Amen!

People diet, people go on weight loss programmes, people subscribing to gym programmes, etc etc etc.. all in the name of healthy living..perhaps not? i don't know..different people have different reasons and i certainly have my own opinion(s). why do they have to go through all these in the first place? and mind you, all these are not cheap, they are costing you a paycheck (for some)....so why all these hassle and torments that you put yourself into? why suscribe and go through various programmes, and complaining of the high cost of living for all these? did it ever occur that all this was due to overeating in the first place? we spend alot too on food..we eat here and there, this and that, having fun, etc etc..but at the end of the day, we spend to lose the weight off due to all these food which we SPENT initially...see the irony here? we spend to lose what we gained ! ALL of this can be avoided if we would have just stop spending in the first place! just as the same thing goe...

What does it feels like to be empty? i often wondered will humans ever reach up to the state of emptiness? how would it be like? of course these questions are answered by our own definition or rather by our own experience(s).. i always believe that a person will never be empty, unless he/she chooses to do so..see, it still comes down to what i was thinking and babbling from yesterday.. CHOICE ! i guess so, life is indeed just a matter of choice; whether we want to choose or not..but often, people tend to deny the fact that they always have a choice to things around them... i hate it when people come up and say, "i have no choice, i have to, i had to, etc etc"..well, as a matter of fact, i do have thoughts as such..well, that is just the norm of humans. we choose what we prefer to hear and shut the rest, we choose what we prefer to see and be blind to the rest, we choose what we prefer to speak and mute the rest...it is often the so called " prefered choice " and...

What to do when you are at a cross road? play dumb and pretend there was no road in the first place? ...well, life is extremely interesting as it doesn't stop bringing you to cross roads after cross roads after cross roads...it never ends, and at one point, you will just be wondering where does all these roads lead to? and knowing that both roads lead to ugly ending surely does not help make the decision anymore fun... to look at the bright side, at least you have options there. you still have the benefit of choice, only not knowing which is the better over the other, but nevertheless, there is still a CHOICE to be made... what if you do are in a decision where there is no CHOICE at all? a dead-end...knowing that the end is not a pretty good one and something that should be avoided in the first place, but due to unseen circumstances, it led you to this.knowing that there will be conflict, separation perhaps, dissatisfaction, hatred, jealousy arising, etc etc.....how then? how...

So much happenings..so much turmoil..so much confusion..so much roles..so much discomfort....so much to be said yet can't be penned down... notice that i used "much" rather than "many" because it is really uncountable... Im just praying for a better day tomorrow and the next and the next and the next............. God bless us all

"Give until it hurts...and your reward will be great in heaven" this line strikes me during the Sunday homily by Fr.Nicolas from India. Though it may be a little bit difficult to understand his accent, but somehow or someway, God made it possible for his message to come across, to come alive and meaningfully, to strike me. Often enough, we complain and complain about how ingratitude people are. how they always taken advantage over us, how we are being used or manipulated in one way or another...but how many of us realize that there is always a reason to all these? We are always so caught up with materials and the returns that we fail to grasp the real meaning to all that is happening around us.. yes, it hurts when we really sacrifice our time, effort or maybe money on people who do not seem to be thankful for all that is given and provided to them, but think of the love that you have showered upon them. think of the generosity that you have done, think of the hope that you ...

Bless the lives of others, and your own will be blessed! that strikes me during the sermon on All Saints Day mass in SFX, celebrated by Fr.Alberto. A simple, humble yet meaningful sermon it was contemplating on the beatitudes and the lives of saints. how often enough we put others before us? usually it will occur with our loved ones be it our family members, closed friends or anyone that matters to us in one way or another...we would go the extra mile just to help them, support them or just about anything for them and most of the time, wat the end of the day, we would reflect and the thought comes flashing in your mind; "why do I used up my time for the sake of others, and not for my own?"..and thats when you start regretting and vow never to repeat that "mistake" again..... and forgeting the past, there you go again doing it all over again. its a cycle ! we help people, we grumble, we vow never to do it again and then we DO it all over again... if things turned ...

Affirmations. Few know the existence of this word and even few know the meaning and also the importance of it. Lucky I am, to be among that "few". Affirmations are very important. Being affirmed for what you have done or for being who you are is an acknowledgement of your contributions, your work and merely your presence! yes, it is indeed such an important motivator that will helps you get going when things are really rough. well, sadly enough, many are unaware of affirming the people around you. one thing for sure, because people are so used to take things for granted or just taking advantage and thus, forgot all about your mere presence in a particular situation...sad but true fact...sigh... Well, affirming is not entirely praising as praising is mainly focusing on the good side of you, but affirming is merely acknowledging or recognizing whatever you have done (whether good or bad). Imagine you are going through all the struggles and sacrifices in life, especially at ...

I just can't seem to understand how people are so occupied with what other people are doing while their own lives are in jeopardy! This is a mystery that I really could not understand. Well, guess that it is always easier to see the fault of others rather than to see our own faults. In fact, we will not see our faults as faults because for us, everything that we do is correct! True? Of course I'm right (see what i meant? haha) And when we fail to see and acknowledge our faults ,thats when trouble comes. Worse still is when we know we are in the wrong, we still want to deny our wrongs and choose to be blind. Do not bother what others are doing, always look at yourself first. If we do not accept ourselves, then how can we move on? Only you know your ownself the best, so why bother about others when you yourself is in such a mess? it is not wrong to be concern and aware of your surroundings, but do not let that get too much into your head that you neglect your own self/life. Y...

Often enough, it is very hard to just "be yourself"...you always have to try and fit it with whatever situation that you are thrown into and it does not allows you to show who you truly are....and when you get the chance to finally show your true colors, thats when people mistaken you for being "a changed person"...the irony of life! well..being a change person for the better would of course be the preferred option anyone could have, but we would never be able to control what others feel or think towards you..when someone comes up to you (when they have the courage to come up to you) and say that you have changed, it usually causes misunderstanding if we do not really listen or try to understand what they are trying to convey to you...after all, who would better know you than you yourself alone.... but looking at it on a positive note..if people notice you have changed, means you meant something to them for them to take a notice in the first place..which is a go...

Stop judging that you may not be judged. (Matthew 7:1) This is very applicable in our everyday lives. Often enough, judging is part of our daily conversation.. a gossip is already a judging.....hw many times do we actually need to remove the log in our eyes before we can see the splinter in others? have we not realize our own faults before blaming it on others (although they may be equally at fault too)...yes. it is a very challenging and difficult thing to do or practice, but it is not impossible... Besides that, prejudice and perceptions and also the past of a person, causes us to judge them. and because of that, we always choose to see them on one angle, and forgetting the fact that there is always two sides of a story...if only we choose to listen, and not just hear... we always just hear with our ears, but we fail to listen with our hearts and mind as well, and because of that, many miscommunication and misunderstanding occurs. it always lead us to see their fault, although it...

gosh....such an indescribable feeling..such negativity flowing within and around me that i really could not grasp the other side of the story like how i used to train myself to do..i just can't seem to feel good about anything around me, not even myself.....gosh....and worse, i do not know the root cause...guess it is an accumulation of negativity set into a timed bomb and now it is the time! lately things have just gone to the other side; wrong to be precise. everything seemed to be wrong...maybe i have been wrong all these years, and only now MADE known to be wrong (worse still to the public, not a self discovery)....all these have seriously challenged my self esteem altogether..i now am starting to question everything that i am doing or have done or going to do...basically its just questions leading to another question leading to another question.....my self confidence is breaking, i am losing out on just being myself and it is something which i really do not want to happen......

Something good to share : It has been reported that the Dalai Lama, when asked what surprised him most about humanity, said: "Man. Because he sacrifices his health in order to make money. Then he sacrifices money to recuperate his health. And then he is so anxious about the future that he does not enjoy the present; the result being that he does not live in the present or the future; he lives as if he is never going to die  and then dies having never really lived." ~well said piece! indeed, enjoy life to the fullest. the future will take its own course :)

It's been a while since i last posted here...well, as the title sound, i have embarked on a spiritual journey recently...i have come to realize (although not a new thing), that life is not just about working..and since work has take on a new path, i thought to myself that i needed to examine my inner being... Being able to attend a camp recently has certainly change me inside out..i am truly blessed for such an opportunity to really look deep down spiritually...spiritual...a huge word which bears such a great meaning but not many understands it....therefore, i am really glad for the experience.. I have always believe, that everything happens for a reason, and that reason is Him! and true enough, that was what i discovered from this camp (yeah, you may think how pathetic am I to take such a long time to realize this...but better late than never)....we were exposed to Evangelization...another huge word that most Christians know about, but few will come to know and understand the ...

R.E.S.P.E.C.T. a seven letter word, but such a fragile thing that everyone has to maintain it..once it is broken, it will only leave a scar no matter hw you try to restore it...as the saying goes, the tongue is mightier than the sword. though both are equally sharp, but word uttered may not be taken back anymore. it may be forgiven, but not forgotten... as innocent as we are humans, as vulnerable as we are humans, once it hurts, it will forever hurt, when the similar pain comes back..in fact, the second attack is often worse as compared to the previous... I often wondered, why do people like to provoke a certain feeling when they actually know the outcome of that particular situation. why create the guilt, the hatred, the anger? and often at the end of it, people like to say "see, i told you so" OR "i know already that he/she will say such"..then why do such in the first place? to proof a point? then wats the point? self satisfaction? we often thought that such wo...

What happens when you found out that mistakes were made years ago but no one has yet to notice it? Will you have the courage to face it and said it was wrong all these years, when it was carried out years before and you are only a rookie, trying to make a mark today? Will you be brave enough to tell people in their face that they were wrong? Do you have the confident that you are doing the right thing now? How sure are you that you are right while the rest are wrong since it has been such through out the years? questions after questions....when you are so sure you are doing the right thing, the wrongs will haunt you. especially when you were the only right (i hoped) and others were all following the wrong path...and when you are in such a situation, you will tend to doubt your own beliefs just because you were the minority! sounds familiar? well, that is something that is so common right now in todays world. and i realize that we do not be in the big picture (like to participate in r...

I always hear of the term "sacrifice" but what does it really meant to sacrifice? often enough, sacrifice is for loved ones, when we love them so we would do anything for them... however, at times, there is surely questions that arise; why did i do all those stuff? sacrificing my time and effort but in the end, what are the rewards? that is a very typical thinking, which i do not really blame people for having such thoughts. we are living in a materialistic world. although it may seem harsh, but that is the reality. people would not do something if they do not see the reward (s) that comes with it. that is the ugly truth... but what to do...sacrifice is always the norm of life. whether you see the reward(s) or not, you will eventually sacrifice your time and effort for your love ones, all because of love. It is the greatest thing of all..god bless us all

I lead, not follow! That is what i have learnt from the past few months....my experience.my history.my choice I have made a very big decision (to me) for my future. It is an opportunity that came knocking on my door and the prospect seems good. It is a big risk which i really hope to bear fruit in the future, maybe in the next few months or so..although alot of work and sweat and tears will be put into it, i really hope that it pays off at the end of the day. its a matter of sooner or later, and i chosen the former. Its my time to lead!

Decisions decisions decisions....gosh...why are they so hard to be made? It is usually easy when you have the support from the people around you..but what happens when you don't? the world is in your hands...and it is all up to you whether you have to make it bigger or just maintain its current position (to play safe)? Opportunity does not knock twice, and when it knocked once, you must consider to open it already... viewing the pros and cons..consult here and there...but at the end of the day, the decision lies in your hands... a risk is nothing but a risk..it is not for the faint hearted, for sure, but is the risk worth taking? will i regret the decision that i made? oh god...why is this so had? why have you forsaken me? i really felt so alone....so help me God to see the light..i am in the dark, it is time to come out to the light..

i just can't understand why people would not want to speak up. what are they fearing exactly? fear of being projected otherwise? fear of being rejected? fear of losing a friendship or a job? the fear of not being listened to? the fear of others' perception against you? well, needless to say, i have been in that position before. although being loud, some would not believe that i would be afraid to speak up in public. in actual fact, i am loud when i am comfortable with my surrounding and the people i am with. if not, i would just be the quiet and shy person whom everyone would not think of me as..haha.....weird but true huh? pelik tapi benar only after i am comfortable with myself in my surrounding, will then i start to show my true colors..the prettiest colors la of course..hehe......which is the current state i am in... Often enough, people may think why i am being "noisy" all of a sudden, but i guess that i have came to the realization that being silent would not ge...

Life in turmoil..thats how exactly life is for me now... when you thought you did the right thing, think again, have second thoughts..maybe it is not what it seems to be.. well, i did make a vey big decision lately, a risk which I myself did not dare to take but took it anyway and now i am having second thoughts... so much has been talked, so much has been discussed, so much i have heard...all having their own points and views..but at the end of the day, it all comes down to me... i do not want to dissapoint anyone, especially my loved ones..but most importantly, i should not disapoint myself too.... i did not realise the effect of my decision till i really talked about it the other day..my reaction showed that i did make a drastic decision without thinking it thoroughly..but i did what i had to.. well, everything around us would not satisfy us all the time, there is always a loop hole somewhere which may be bothering us so much as compared to the whole picture... and now i am being pl...

imagination is a blessing! i do not know when or how did i started to have a hobby of reading (whreby previously i dislike reading so much because i do not have the patience to finish a book), but now, books have been something that i like to sink myself into... i guess its all because it is through stories that we are allowed to use our imaginations freely, that's what i like about novels. i just finished reading a novel (Change of Heart by Jodi Picoult)...oh boy, what a story it was. i was so immersed into the story that i even wept at the end...yes, i wept reading a story book! it usually only happen in the movies, but now, even a story book gets me all teared up..hahaha...laugh as u may, but i admit it! stories are just fictional, some may be based on a true story, but otherwise, they are just fictional. but somehow, it may be so real that you can feel so attached to the characters. u felt like u live and breath with them in the story...they teach u a thing or two about life..y...

I have been having weird sleeping patterns lately; sleep early and wake up smack in the middle of the night (early morning) to finish tasks and continue sleeping again after that... well, one thing's for sure is that i love early mornings. i feel a sense of peacefulness when i work early in the morning; quiet, peace and tranquility which really gets me into the mood of working... hmm...its the time of the year again when i start to reflect and wish something different would happen this year...but i think, it would not be any different either..i shall continue to wait...

The irony of life : when you are so stressed up at work, all you wanted was a break..when you are on a break, you get bored and wished u were at work doing something... gosh...this is actually a bad sign when you are starting to feel such..it shows that work is everything that matters, and without it, there is no life! NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! of course i wouldnot want that to be the real reason for feeling such...i would not want to make work the main event of life while the rest are just secondary...NOOO!! I should do something...but what? Having a long break over the weekend got me thinking...well, not exactly, but i started to reflect on my whole life...i really have not much interesting going on... and not that i do not have friends, i have many (i admit) but none are seem to want to hang out too...and that put me into a "dejected" mood that made me not to bother making any more effort to find entertainment with others....so, i just hang around the house and read. YES! u read ...

Being away from work for one whole week proofs to be disastrous after all...all fears were confirmed when i step into the office today.. fine, you may think im bragging here but think whatever u want, i do not give a damn anymore....i have always been worrying so much of other ppl's thoughts about me that i am the one who suffers in the end.... gone are those days, Moira! it's time to put an end to such silly thoughts anymore. its a dog eat dog world out there... it dawned upon me today...what if i was not who i was..what if i was someone who was so arrogant and selfish, would life be better off? since no one would be wanting to take any advantage of me nor dare to push me to my limits...at this current state of mind, yes! i would prefer to be such a person.... often enough i have told myself to always think positively..positive thinking, think positive...positivity positivity and more positivity...yet it doesnt seem to end..i always tell myself all these are mere challenges..i...

i feel like such a failure... the stress has seriously gotten into me and is killing me inside out... alot of times , ppl come and ask me, "why didnt u come and say something? or why didnt u tell us?"..but not that i dont want to tell but i dont see the need of telling what is the problem when it is really very clear. actions always speak louder than words. rather than we contemplate on the problem which is already known, why not instead think of a better solution. the phrase still rings in my head "do not give me a problem, give me a solution". that is very true! there is too much to be handled. guess i have overestimated myself. i know i can do it, all i need is time but that is the one thing which i am lacked of. i am trying to be patient, taking things one at a time but that has not work out well anymore. one thing at one time proves to be too slow. i need to take up like 10 things at one time... gosh..i really am very doubtful of my strength. i am already at my...

I love Him more each day as He does not abandon you although you may not think of Him in times of need, or may have forgotten all about Him when you are in trouble. When you give up on yourself, He does not give up on you. He knows best. I love Him more. I love you, God.

i am very sad today..extremely sad and depress...i am sad :( :( :(

With regards to my previous post, "why oh why", it finally made some sense in me.. i came to realize all along that i wasn't the unlucky one, i was the lucky one! There are things in life which are unmeasurable, things which are unseen, which are only felt in the heart and that is all that matters. i may not be bright enough to earn so much money as my others who easily get what they wanted, or pretty enough to get all the guys that they wanted, but i am lucky enough to have my faith in God! i guess it was just God's way of speaking to me...feeling down and envy (i admit) about other people's achievement and luck had made me rethink the decisions i made. but then, after attending mass, it struck me that although my life right now could be just a moderate life in terms of work, but i am blessed to have Him who truly plans it out for me....he would not disapoint, although at this time now, i am very doubtful (i apologise, God) as my plans for the weekend for which i...

why does it always have to happen? comparison, jealousy, envy..then start thinking, why are others so lucky and you aren't? did i made the wrong choice?.... its been said and done, happened and experienced.....but why...is life really that easy for others while we have to struggle so hard and now we are on the same par like them? haiz.....life is alwayz not a balanced scale, just depending on which side you are one... i guess that things always happen for a reason....i made my decision years ago, and now, i just have to face the consequences....please help me God :S

the new year started very badly for me....today is just the 4th day into the new year and i am already at my limit...things have been becoming bad to worse and i really do not know what this whole year would be for me..i am very doubtful of what is instore for me.... today has been typically bad...up to the point where i 'review' what i had done for the past one year where i was made to think i did nothing but just a gap-filler, to fill up the holes on the road... i really felt such, not exaggerating but that was how bad it felt...it wasnt a knife that i was stabbed, it was a chopper! big slash and deep.....and taking it out after that chop really made it bled..... let me explained myself here since nobody would listen to me then... it's not that i did not know what to do or how to do it, but it's just that i have no time (well,as lame as that reason may be, but that is really the truth) and since that no one wanted to take up the responsibility previously and not wanti...

The art of comparing... people just love to compare with one another, maybe it's a the human nature of a person... but i always remember the words of my father "Don't ever compare with other people, you must know where you stand!"..and indeed, those words are the key essence to who i am till this very day. i have read before too that we should not compare as it will only make us unworthy of who we are. i have to agree with this, as although i have always try not to compare with others, but somehow, at some point, you will tend to do such. comparing for a good reason would be encouraged, that is if is taken positively. this type of comparison is good as it will help us to improve for the better and to avoid bad circumstances. but if comparison it is taken the wrong way, then it will only cause hatred, jealousy and may even build up greed...and sometimes, when we tend to compare, we would actually lose out on open opportunities, jus because we compared with other people...