The Teapot's Cabin

As I am writing this post, the background music of Sam Smith's I'm Not The Only One seemed perfectly representing my emotions deep inside...well having said that, I have to be honest that i have been at doubts for various things lately and the song is just reflecting exactly and summarizing everything... and that is just what songs are really to me... i noticed that of late, i tend to really pay attention to the lyrics of the songs rather than just the tune and rhythm, and it is very interesting to understand the whole meaning of the song altogether. there is certainly alot of things being said and pen down in a song, and maybe only the writer or music arranger of the song would understand, apart from the singer itself, but when we do take time to listen to the lyrics, it is indeed beautiful.. a song can only contain so much words but it tells a whole story, if only we know how to look at it. enough said.  I know I'm not the only one.

I stopped asking the question "Why?" The simple reason of knowing that I will not be getting the kind of answers that I wished it would be. It is kinda sad when it comes to such a state but then, looking at the bright side of it (yeah, again I'm saying this), I guess it is for the better. As I ponder upon this simple idea of this post, of this topic which suddenly popped up in my head to write about it, a simple three-letter word can weigh so much for the outcome of it is far greater than just three simple alphabets. Looking at it at a different angle altogether, a person who have such questions are often rooted with expectations. True isn't it? We put forth this questions whenever what we wanted is not what we get. What we expect to happen, did not happen the way we expected it to be. What we are hoping for did not came true. All these expectations, be it good or bad, be it a positive outcome or a negative outcome, will always bring you to this three-letter que...

It's the end of the week...oops...rephrase, working week...oops..rephrase again, official working week....all because i never stop working, even though on weekends where i have to stand in....well, that's what working life is all about....work work and more work... well...it was indeed an interesting week altogether....encountered very interesting people and very interesting scenarios daily, each unique in their own way...but somehow, made me question and look back at my own self..... i was given this question: what would you regret if you were on your death bed? such a heavy load question...for which, in fact, i had that thought before and that has resulted in me doing what i am doing today...serving others in the best way i can...apart from writing down my thoughts here as an imprint of what i have been thinking.... yes indeed! that question hit me because that was exactly what change me. and now it got me thinking again, whether what i have change has work out the way ...

We often wait...wait for the right moment...wait for the right person...wait for the right opportunity to come our way....we will just wait and wait and continue waiting....always waiting for the RIGHT thing....but do we ever question what is RIGHT? i admit i have always been waiting.....waiting for the right one...in different aspects of my life ie the right degree, the right career path, the right job, the right position, the right one....but how do we know when we have finally actually gotten the right one all this while? i've been through alot in terms of my career....5 years down the line and seriously, every year seems to be the "one" and im not moving or rather changing anymore...yet, look at me today..5 years in this field, yet 5 different companies...and people still ask me, "so is this the one? or will you continue to change?"...well, having look back at this...i guess people are not really waiting, but rather wanting more...and therefore they WAIT....

What makes a person happy? was having a conversation which an elder who i respect alot; a person who has accomplished so much in terms of his career, yet appear to be such a humble person. and he brought up this question to me..and indeed, i can say now that i am happy... it does not matter where you are, or what you do, but what matters most is who you are as a person altogether. two person can be in a similar situation but both may define the whole situation in two different manner, ie either a person can be so happy with what they have now, or the other way around. it all depends on your own definition of happiness. and i seriously respect such thoughts, especially coming from someone so highly ranked in the education line, and yet, a humble personality to sit and share their experience with you. how they have started from ground zero to be where they are today. all with a simple drive of determination and sheer focus. a fruitful day indeed. thank God for today. Amen.

Prayer worked wonders! and indeed it is.... it is often said and shared by so many people but sometimes, honestly, we will somehow doubt this as we always pray for the same thing, but our prayers were never answered....... well, to a certain extend, i presumed.... i truly believed that God will always answer our prayers, but his answers may not always be the answers that we are expecting...in different forms...if we realized it... but all because He knows what is best for us, not what we expect always... and what is the feeling when your prayers are answered as what you have often prayed about? one word, just AWESOME! that awesome feeling that finally, of one month praying for a particular intention, it is finally answered......and often at times, did we stop and thank God for it? or are we so blinded by the positive end results of our prayer that we forgot who is the one at "play" here? yup, it is truly normal that we are always rejoicing for good news,for great expectati...

Contemplation..contemplation and contemplation....i've been in very deep thoughts for the past few weeks...and maybe that's why, those of you who have seen me lately or spoken to me lately, can notice that i am being more quiet than usual (that if you notice la..haha)... looking back at my previous post, (for which i wrote just a few days before i turned a year older), God indeed worked mysteriously...when i was posting that, i had so much going on within me..in my head, my heart...all over...a mess, i shall say...questioning His will for me..but then, when my birthday came....indeed all was washed away..i seriously felt LOVE...not love love as in the boy-girl...but just the plain feeling of love..from families and friends...no matter whether it was just a short simple message over facebook, but nonetheless...i felt the love...and i guess, that is all that matters. Him trying to tell me that whatever i have been doing, it is right, no matter how wrong at times i may feel abou...

September is always a special month for me...for the obvious reason la, I think..  but truly it is a time which is very close to my heart...and because of that, my "reflective mode" was switch on... I started thinking bout me, myself and I... Yes, for those who knows me well, u will know of my nature of always saying Yes whenever people approach me for help or any form of advice, if  I am able to..I hardly say NO unless I really really canot do it..mainly for the huge fear I always have of not wanting to disappoint people.. and because of that, I always have my hands full with so many things.. not just work, but with ministry work in church, project based event in church, volunteering weekly at the community centre and latest is regarding my friend's big day! All with the same intention of wanting to help people, wanting to serve ppl (in church la) and wanting to make people happy... and im pretty thankful to my family for understanding my commitments that I have which ...

One year today! And indeed it is..one year ago when I decided to take a leap and never looked back. Yup.it all ended one year ago and it also started one year ago.. a truly remarkable experience,  I shall say. Although the past few weeks had me thinking n reflecting of this decision I made 1 year ago, but nonetheless, I choose to look at the bright side of things, the bigger picture rather than to focus on small petty issues that will demoralise me altogether. I am truly blessed for all the turmoils, the stress, the pain, the agony, the anxiety, the sufferings, the mental and emotional tortures and all the haters, because all these had made me what I am today. I am more bold (for the right reasons, I hope), I am no more afraid to speak up, I am more humble of myself, I am able to bring out the best in me and don't worry of how others see me. I am who I am because of all these and I am truly thankful. So, happy working anniversary, Moira! You deserved a toast. Cheers for your ha...

I have always wondered what does it feels like to find someone that is compatible, in many ways...not just in term of love relationships, but in any form of relationships....friendships, work colleagues, etc.... and what happens if you don't? will you still be happy? I have always drown myself in distractions, particularly work, just so to distract myself from all the harsh reality of relationships. the heart is a fragile priceless asset of ours, and it is our main duty to always guard it from all sorts of hurts and pains and anxieties and brokenness in many ways...and hence, I often make it a point to always look at things on a wider scale before deciding whether to put another foot in or go closer, for the fear of the heart...all for the heart...Amen.

Sometimes the happiest people are the saddest behind closed doors. Enough said.

hmmm...so much to say, so much to share...where shall I start?... hmmm.... oh well, it's been dramatic, as always....life is never a boring story...first it was the world cup, then it was the tragic story of MH17..and then in between these two happenings, all the small tinny weenie stories at work... fuhhhh...tiring man! world cup was indeed fun. I remember the first time when I was introduced to this whole hype of the game. back in 1998, when I was in year 6. I remember even creating a file, cutting pics, pasting them...scrapbooking! it was pure fun..and that was when the love of the game came about... it wasn't about handsome players or coaches, but mainly of the game n the art of it...and people still wont believe when you tell them that is the reason behind it.... oh well, people have different reasons for everything that they do and like...so be it.. and then the tragic story of MH17. I personally know of friends who lose their love ones in this incident...and I even...

It's always been the human nature to compare and then start complaining! true? i assumed it is as that is always what i have been hearing and put through these recent times... people are complaining about this and that, unfair treatment, low wages, being misunderstood, etc.etc. but then again, you canot please the entire world and vice versa. i was once "there" too....complain and complain, easier to say it out ba, but when it comes to action, NOTHING! .. just as what was shared in a talk i recently attended, the speaker said its always about what you do with that feeling, that will determine the outcome (well, that's what i summarized la..different people may see it differently)...i totally agree with what was said in the talk... when you know you are in a very bad position, everything that you do and say has already clearly showed you how wrong in a position you are in, but why do you still complain and stay put there? isn't the world has so much more to offer...

hmm....its been a while since my last post...well, lets just say I had problems with the internet connection, which disallowed me to blog whenever I want to...so it wasn't my fault, but the computer's! familiar? of course...being humans, generally...we would always find all possible reasons to break free from feeling the guilt... we would always want to find a "scape-goat" just so that we are able to escape from the whole situation and be free from responsibility... as the  saying goes, "ignorance is bliss".... true for those who are ignorant, but what about the one who was being ignored? having my own fair share of experience, I can say that I had the privilege to be on the other side of "phrase"...meaning, I was the one being ignored...and it is really not blissful at all... to be ignored is annoying, it shows your unworthiness and the lack of responsibility...and im talking not just in terms of workplace, but it can be related to just about ...

Challenges after challenges...struggles after struggles... life is never ending with its own fair share of stories.... after going through and settling one problem, you thought things will be all right, and then another hits you.....and we will start the whole process all over again, complaining and whining about why things are always so unfair to us... but then, its always how you perceive a problem that will eventually determine how hard the consequence will be....how a person interprets the whole situation will determine how serious it all is...I am speaking this on a very real experience which I encountered... and this is what the human race knows as "miscommunication".... a problem that is so petty, so small, so insignificant, yet to some, it is like a life-changing problem; a do or die situation, a life and death situation.... funny how it seem when you are in one of the person involved in it...to you it may seem nothing, but to another, its the whole world... so le...

A morning post...for once, i think. Humans, being humans...can't be stirred of their own thoughts and actions. The minute you questioned them about their actions or opinions, they go all defensive about it and would not back down, and instead you are made to back down... familiar? well, maybe for some, but i always get this... Being me, I like to question stuff. stuff of which i am very doubtful of, stuff of which i am certain is wrong, stuff of which will bear negative consequence not just on me, but on the people around me... and i guess this character of mine is not acceptable by the majority human race. maybe cause i am loud, so people tend to think i am scolding.. hahaha... well, i know i may be abit overboard at times...you know, the famous bahasa saying, "berani dengan membuta tuli"...that's me, in a way. i can get over-excited or over-angry over things without thinking about it.. and that has seriously brought me to trouble alot of times...and since then...

It's been a month since my last post...and one hell of a month it was...work, work and more work... but needless to say, it has been a very interesting journey the past few weeks... I used to whine and complain a lot, or get angry easily, but I guess, we are just like fine wine...the older we get, the better we become... not to brag, but guess, that's the truth As I aged, hahahaha...that word sounds wrong, I realize that it is very important to know your priorities. Only when you know what are your priorities, can you set different views in life... only then can you see what is important in life and don't let small petty things affect you in whatsoever way possible... I'm saying all these is because we humans, tend to lose focus and instead get so easily distracted with the petty mistakes that people make, the annoying actions that they kept repeating, the irritating movements that can't seem to get your eyes off them, etc etc (gosh typing it out also making me ...

Wow...the week has been really terrible for me....hmmm...i guess it should be replaced with "challenging"... it has been a really challenging week for me...i am surprise that i survived till the end of the week..although i did had a meltdown...but im ok... sometimes we just have to let it go off before regaining back to my feet.... well...looking at it at a different context, i am grateful for all that has happened... and it certainly showed me clearly of how far i have grown...not physically la, but mentally, emotionally and spiritually. i was hurt, i was dissapointed, i was insulted, i had sarcasm thrown to me, i was scolded, i was blamed, i was abandon, i was unappreciated, i was not accepted...yes, all these happened over the pass week...not exaggerating but am just telling the truth... those who saw me or talked to me over the week sure would not have known all these happened to me, because as my life principle is, i always will not want to affect others with negativ...

Temptations temptations temptations..... so many of them around us.....often than not, we always perceive temptations in forms of materials..but most of the time, we try to mask the emotional and mental temptations... Look around you or just reflect of what you have done the whole day today...or maybe yesterday... was there any temptations to what you were feeling or acting against? I don't know about others but I sure am tempted to feel certain way in which I would prefer not to.. ok. some may be confused..let me explained in my own experience.. lately I am very often tempted to feel angry, to feel boastful, to feel nauseous, to feel betrayed, to feel used, etc etc. and every temptation will surely lead to negative actions or words... that is why these are known as temptations but not feelings, because we are just tempted to feel such but has the power to control that feeling from showing.... confusing? hehe..sorry lorrr..... but well..that i...

I am feeling puzzled.....1st three months of the year passed and now I'm puzzled at how life has been moving so fast for me...for the better, I hope! well, the past three months has been tremendously beautiful....erm...not quite the right word....perhaps, blessed would be better. I am truly blessed for everything that have happened to me or anyone related to me through out this period.. the people I meet, the people I talk to, the people I work with, etc... though things may be very bitchy at times, things can drag you down the cliff at times...but looking at it, I thank God for having go through that..for it made me what I am today...yeah yeah..I have said this too many a times, but it is true..that's why the extra emphasize... Nevertheless, it has been a rewarding start for the year and hopefully this marks a truly remarkable year ahead...looking forward to all things nice, all things spice and all things overly priced..hehe...pun intended! God bless us all...and........

I am being evil! muahahahahahaha....so honest of me to admit that... well, honestly, sometimes life just makes you do things to others just so that you feel good...and that makes me an evil person... In fact, I'm just doing my job. I do what I am supposed to do and that's just about it....I really really dislike it when people take things for granted towards me..... sincerely I helped when I can, or up to my abilities, but when people start to take advantage of that....then, too bad....my true colors will show.... and as my favourite survival quote, "if you step on my tail, I will step back on your head!"... so do not mess with me unnecessarily. those who know me, will always know me as a very happy-go-lucky person. thus, when I am not in a happy mode, that spells trouble. and I can assure you that it is not a common sight. as I've mention to people before, that is because my tolerance rate is very high.....and so, when I am angry, I really really will be angr...

Sometimes we are just called and sent by God but we just did not realized it. And this is true for me, at least. Those who may know me, may know that I am a person who likes to serve, especially in the church. but the question that is being asked of me is, "why do you serve there? you know that you should serve here. this is your parish"...not just one but two people asked me that, in a span of almost a year.... am I wrong to be where I am? is there a preference to where I am suppose to serve, even though at the end of it, we all serving ONE God? I am very disturbed by this question, honestly. I was...and in fact when I was asked this question, I wanted to ask them in return, but for all due respect (since the person questioning was way much elder than me), I just keep my mind open and listen. but when I look back and reflect, it is like a calling to serve where I am serving. to make things clearer for those who don't know... I actually live 5 minutes away from a chu...

I am grateful . That's just the exact feeling I have now. Grateful for the chance to live. grateful for the roof over my head. grateful for the friends around me. grateful for the job that I have. grateful for the freedom to do what I like. grateful for life. how many times do we stop and be grateful for the things we have? instead we choose to compare and sulk about what others have which we don't. I admit, I have been like that too. but then again, wouldn't that make life more miserable. to always compare and then complain of how pitiful we are of not having certain kind of luxuries? well, everything happens for a reason. as long as we are happy, nothing else matters. just look around you and know that you are rich in your own way. filled with love and joy around you. you have a choice to be happy, so make that choice and leave the rest behind. just be grateful. life is beautiful.

People just love to compare. Being human, we tend to be envy or jealous when we see our friends or our counterparts being happy, while we are struggling in our own pile of problems and s**t... the sad reality of life.. so often we become sad and feeling how unlucky we are to be where we are, to be faced with all the unwanted obstacles, while others are living life as if they have a money orchard at the back of their house..... if you understand what I mean.... having said these, I honestly am guilty as charged! I always like to compare, especially when seeing friends which you know (close friends or not), having fun with other friends, while I am feeling.....erm....alone! sad? to put it in such a way, it is indeed sad, especially when knowing that those friends have seemed to forgotten you, especially those who were once so close to you.....yup, I admit I was devastated, felt as if I had lost a close friend..... but then, look at the bright side... I certainly can't be in control...

New year, new post...........eh, rephrase, new Lunar year, new post.... still not too late to say HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR! Yeeehaawwww.... (that's my version of a horse's neigh...hehe).... hmmm.....been missing my blog. as usual, i have so many things on my mind which i always wanted to pen down but can't usually find the time (ok well, more like i'm just giving silly excuses)... so things are pretty interesting over the last few weeks. Started off with a weekend away in Cameron. A weekend of tranquility, serenity....or rather, a very needed break for myself...after too much non-stop-happenings prior to that. It was a good weekend, and it somehow changed me in someway or another, subtle changes, but very appreciative of that change.... God willing! then it was the CNY week...i think it speaks for itself because CNY is all about get together, whether it is with friends or families...and indeed it was. A wonderful week it was...and not too sure why, but somehow this...

I have a tendency of always over-thinking of things....it may sometimes be a good thing, but may sometimes be a disadvantage...and so i believed the latter. and with this new year, i am trying to make myself to just that; to stop over thinking of things and just accept whatever that comes my way. Well, having to come to such a conclusion is also solely on the fact that when i over thought things, things will never work out somehow (that is as how i wished it would be)..and then it will just leave me dejected, irritated and sometimes dissapointed, and it is never a good feeling when such a thing happen.... and so, i am making a vow to myself to stop thinking too much of so little thing, but instead embrace it fully and just leave everything to God. Come what may....whatever that happens, just let it be and enjoy the moment. after all, whenever God brings you to a cliff, he would either catch you when you fall or teach you how to fly. so, let's just surrender, embrace life in all...

Yup. It's the time again where we have to sit back, recall whatever happened, reflect and write your speech! kind of my favourite thing to do, to be honest....well simply because it's like a journey of growth, a journey of moulding, a journey of discovery, a journey of life! 2013. A year that is just simply the bomb. So many things happened.so so many. Good ones,  bad ones, not so good ones, super bad ones, anything and everything.. and still, through it all, I can summed it up as an AWESOME year indeed! For the very simple reasons; I learn alot of things about myself which at alot of times, surprises me...in a good way. Many things have changed..risks I've taken..... or rather the path not taken which I took and found myself struggling my @$$ off that whole decision and finally using all the courage to turn back to the right path.....an experience I will always cherish though it may not be the prettiest thing... Looking back at the year, I must say that God had certa...