The Teapot's Cabin

It is always the same.... you thought you have finally found something different, you decide to invest your time and effort, and this time your trust in it...yet, it still ends up the same...you did all that you can possibly do knowing that it is different this time around, yet it still ends up just like the rest of them before... It now comes to show that it is always not meant to be..no matter how hard we try to change the things or my perception of things, if it is not meant to be, it will not be... Dissapointing I can say, frustration I can say, heartbreak I can say.....nothing else...life just like playing around and I am not sure if this is what it takes to make me rise up again.... i can only hope, well that's all that is left anyway... so help me God. Amen.

One minute you are given everything that you have been dreaming about; your dream career, someone you can trust with everything and anything, your smooth sailing social life.... and the next minute, everything has been taken away.... imagine the anxiety, the dissapointment, the frustration, the longing, the struggle, the agony. I may be overthinking but things are seem to be heading that direction of doom.... I am only hoping to end the year on a better note...for now... nothing much to be hopeful for.... So help me God. Amen

I appear to be very actviely blogging these few days...well, all because I am very free, like literally... at work...all because I am waiting for my fate. yes, you read that right; my FATE. I am waiting for the next stage in my career which is determined by a higher authority at work...and I can't do much but just to wait...wait for a favourable result (i pray and hope, fingers crossed) how many at times our lives revolves along "waiting"? we wait and wait. we wait for results, we wait for answers, we wait for signs. all we do is just to wait.... aren't we tired of that? Often times than not, I get so tired of waiting that I take the first step to take (any) action rather than to wait...and at the end of what has been done, I still have to wait...for the other party to respond... oh dear, when will we ever stop waiting? even the season of advent teaches us to wait. and just like christmas, i hope the wait will also be worth it. Oh God. help us all. the wait ...

How hard it is to be doing the right thing? to be a disciple of God? I think I have posted something similar to this previously... but nonetheless, it got me thinking....again...about this How hard it is to help the needy? So much so that I so frequently wanted to just quit and stop taking care of the needs of the others. Why go the extra mile to help when others who are as capable too are sitting comfortably in their own homes, while I struggle my ends off just to help ensure the needy gets the minimal help that I can offer, and still demand for more..... oh God oh God, why so difficult to do your work? why so difficult to do your will? I know it is hard, it is challenging, it is layden with so many obstacles...what's worse when you know you are all on your own in this.. nobody is there to help nor guide nor support... Can I just give up heaven and not continue to do all these?

Sometimes it fascinates me how independent I can be or how I used to be. How much I can keep everything to myself for the sake of not wanting to affect others around me no matter where I am. To some this may be surprising because I always seemed like the friendly bubbly one who opens up easily to people I meet with my personality. But then, think again..how many of you really notice that you know nothing much of my personal life? That's because I always like to keep it to myself. Nothing fascinating as others. I would rather be someone's listening ear than to be listened to to all my babbles and irritations and annoyance. That's how life has always been. For a very very long time... it is interesting to see how much I know about others, intimately even for some, but very little is made known of myself to others... Not that I am being selfish, of just wanting to know about others while keeping my own life a secret that only I will take to my grave, but its just people ne...

Focus on what value a person can bring I came across this phrase in an article and it immediately caught my attention. These 8 words speaks volume and can be relatable in so many ways. It can be looked at two ways. Either we are the "person" or literally seeing it as "another person". The latter would relate to how we look at the people around us. How we view the people that we work with, the people we talk to, the people we spend time with or even our own loved ones, our families. Do we see beyond who they are as a person? do we really value what and who they are as a person? Think about it. Recently I experienced a hiccup in my career, and a few days after that difficult ordeal, i came across that article and it seemed as if the article was written for me. How often do we always strive to be perfect and in that way, try to be the correct at all times...so much so that when bump happens, it hit us hard because we were so focussed on the perfectness that we fo...

What is your measurement of being successful? How can you finally say that you have succeed in life? What do you based your conclusion / judgement upon? Think about it. we always say we want to be successful in life...but to what extend?  what are your criterias of a successful person? Rich? High position in the company? Having a stable family? For me....I can proudly say I am successful when I am able to inspire and motivate others through the things that I do and the things that I believe in. When that happens, I am happy to say "I have made it in life"! We are always doing what we are doing. our job, the friends that we meet up, the family members that we spend time with. But do we ever realize the impact we have on all these? I always believe that whatever you do, do it with sincerity. not wanting for rewards or something in return, but just to do what you are supposed to do with a sincere honest heart, and to the best of your abilities. Even to help and to teach ...

Sometimes, the only way you can help yourself is by helping others. True? I let you figure it out in your own way. That is certainly true, for me. As per my previous post on loneliness, it is not easy to surpass that lonesome feeling overnight. It takes much more than just "time will heal" or "you will get over it over the next few days". Sometimes, action speaks louder than words, and that is applicable to such situation / condition. Being lonely is a feeling. Not to be denied nor brushed off, but better to be dealt with. to act upon it. The easiest way is to always find a distraction. Don't get me wrong that a distraction is to pull you away from the reality of your loneliness but rather allowing yourself to be exposed to something to help you gain insight or new perspective of your own situation / condition. Hence, the first line states just about that. When you have done all that you can possibly do to fight the loneliness within, try and switch the ...

How lonely can a person be? Have you ever wondered that? The feeling of being alone, without anyone whom you can talk to..is just so painful.. and worse still when you have to pretend things are okay on the outside, yet deep inside how crushed and broken you are feeling inside.... you are all alone to face the demons within...the deep pain and longing for someone to be there.... I duno what else deeemed to be worst anymore... only time will heal...or will it ever heal... So help me God.

How often do we plan things way ahead of time yet things turned out the total opposite? Not just something simple like weekend plans or plans for the night, but those plans for the future? Your dreams and wishes of how you would like to see yourself in 5 years.... or what you often tell yourself when you were (once) young "what would I want to be when I grow up..." I looked back at my own and see how much I have diverted from what I was hoping I would be when I am at this age in my life when I was young. How I would have envisioned myself of being married with kids, raising my own family, having my own house, and able to live comfortably, not lavisihly but just a simple comfortable life. And look at me today. hahahaha... far from what I would ever dream of... FAR FAR from what I would have wanted to be... Im not married, not even in any form of relationship, I do not owned a house, I still live with my family...but one thing is that, I am living comfortably right now...an...

I can never run away from being proud of what I do, or where I am right now, especially in terms of my career....till at times i began "boasting" about it... admit it, i guess some of you will do too. Well, I may not want to term it as "boasting" but rather standing up for what you are doing what you are doing. After all, you are doing what you are doing because you believe in it, and therefore has much to say about it as compared with people who only see one side of the story... Make any sense? I somehow get very annoyed and irritating when people only like to look at things one sided, and always start to be envious and say things like "aiyer, you so lucky". This kind of remark will get me all fired up and I will always strike the person who says this to me. Be thankful that I am warning you all out here not to say this in my face, or else I will not be sorry for ruining your day. I am thankful enough, I guess, that people who says this to me are of...

another post...yeah, obviously I have been very hardworking in blogging lately... well in fact, I am just too free that I began to think things..that's what the mind does; always working even though physically you aren't... and so the mind works, and the fingers listen to it...so type type type away.... well actually what I wanted to type now has been lingering in my head for a while... not having something concrete to write upon until now.... the idea of helping others The common concept of helping others is always physical help, i.e. helping the old to cross the road or to carry their things, lend a helping hand to victims of natural disasters, feed the poor, etc etc. all physical works. that is what people often associate "help others" with. That's what the majority mndset is, well, to be honest, I admit I was once that majority too...maybe am still is, at times... and often times than not, such mindset gets me in such "shitty" situation of feel...

in the mood of a post...and here I am..hahaha.... (what an introductory line)... oh well.. So relating to my previous post about " fear and simplicity ", something relating to that is what I would want to share about.. And so I discovered fear once again yesterday, in the form of the same question being put forth to me (as per my previous post)... but this time, an additional phrase startled me further "I don't dare.." the simple 3 words that easily display fear in a person that speaks a volume of who he or she is. but instead, I prefer to reflect it upon myself. Having heard that phrase, I began to think..."so does it meant that I was a daring person?" oh yes indeed! I think some of my friends can vouch for what I said seeing what I did on foreign land. but then again, this "daringness" do not come overnight nor was I born with it. Believe it or not, I use to be someone very timid. yes yes, it does not reflect in my physical attrib...

And so I am back to my home country... I do not know how to describe the exact feeling, whether I am happy, or be relief or just being neutral... honestly, I am more excited and interested to what is next in line for me; the next phase in my career after having gone through intensive "brain washing and wishing"...just hoping all of it went through smoothly... Well, the reason I am posting is not just about my "home-coming"...but rather something struck me about me again...oh well, doesn't it always is such; that I am always just posting things here whenever things strike me at just about the slightest thing that can flick my mind. "click" It was a remark that a few people gave me, after knowing of my adventure in the foreign land through my postings on social media.. what fascinated me was that they were amazed at how many interesting things I could discover throughout my time there, even though they have been going to the same place more frequent ...

Time really flies. Its been two weeks that I am on foreign soil. The first time for me, to be on my own on foreign land for such a long time. It proves only one thing for me. that I am more independent that I thought I am. Honestly, I always am sceptical of travelling alone overseas, especially to embark on a solo travel trip. I am afraid because I do not know what to expect. I fear of my ability to cope and the capability to explore the world around me. But now that I am put in a position which mandatorily requires me to be overseas for 3 weeks, hence I am where I am now, at this very moment. Life here indeed is very different, but all the more, it changes my perspective of who I can really be. I underestimate myself to a certain extend, although I am more prone to overestimate myself. But having this experience, for the past 2 weeks, has indeed shown me the other side of myself that I didn't know I had. I am more brave, maybe also due to the fact that I am more aware th...

how quick do we pass a judgement? That is a simple question but the answers will be very subjective, because it all depends on the mind set of the person reading it. How often do we pass a judgement? what was the first thought that comes to mind when you read that line? Did you read it as it is or were you looking for things between the lines? It is funny that people are so quick to judge because they always try to find things beneath what is being presented to them, when in actual fact, things are just as it is. I find it difficult to accept that people tend to overthink when being presented with something, be it a simple question, a simple remark, a picture or just about anything. Oh well, I have to admit, I am also a person who overthinks. I always look at things overall, and not just how it is and often times than not, it gets me into trouble. Hence, I try to change the outlook I have on things and just accept things as they are presented to me, giving the presenter the be...

3 months. today is exactly 3 months since I started doing what I always wanted to do... and that only meant, life has drastically changed for me for the past 3 months! Time flies. I didn't realized it has been 3 months (until I was asked to change the password to my work email...hahahahahha...the thing that you have to do every 3 months. it's true). It has been an amazing 3 months. As I mentioned, it was a drastic change and never did I regret taking this choice 3 months ago...I've been to a lot of places, seen a lot of people, learn a lot of new things.. everyday is just a surprise which I always look forward to... And even though I have work pending on my side, and me in the midst of a 22 days training away from home, life is still beautiful to me.. it only showed me how independent I have become over the years, to be able to identify such a feeling and be very grateful for it. He indeed has His plans lay out for me. It has always been and no doubt about it. Even ...

How often do we hate being proof to be wrong, or worse still, to be nagged? I, for sure, am a person who does not like to be proven wrong. Ego, you may called it, but I will not take it easily when people proof me to be wrong. Yeah, you may despise me for that, but that is just what naturally, any human does. Who likes to be proven wrong? raise your hand for me to see or just contact me after you have read this. I would like to get to know you better. But along the way, I slowly began to see how important it is to be proven wrong. It teaches me! It teaches me to see and understand how other view things opposite of my angle. It teaches me to be humble and not to want to have the last word all the time, although I still do, hard to control at times... See the second question above? the part of being nagged? that is even worse. when you are put in the situation to be proven wrong and then being nagged about it....oh man...I wished the earth beneath my feet just gobbled me up and b...

Do we choose to do the right thing or we choose to do what is real? You must be puzzled with that question. Allow me to explain the difference. Doing the right thing is what everyone is familiar with, doing what the world deemed to be right i.e. feed the poor, help the marginalized, look after the elderly, etc. etc. Doing what is real is slightly related to doing what is right. Doing what is real is more on a personal basis. Being real, is the core of it. Being real meaning knowing that we will never be perfect and therefore will always succumb to temptations and distractions from all factors. Doing what is real is more of doing what is practical to your current condition. You may not have the access or exposure to the poor or the marginalized to allow you to "serve" them. You may be so caught up with work and other commitments such as family or involvement in religious activities, etc. You have the intention to do what is right, but when put in such condition, you have ...

The mandatory birthday post. Haha. It has become a habit now for me to post something before the day or on the day itself. Something that I do to look back at how far I have come over the past year...much to be thankful for? much to regret? much to change? to move forward better.... So, as my mum puts it...I am finally more than 30 today. To her, it was a big deal. to surpass the 30 mark, even though I told her I have been having a 3 in front since last year, but according to her, this year is different, because I passed that border and entering into another phase....haha...oh well, mum and her logic... Birthdays have always been something I look forward to every year, until I met someone who does not bother at all about birthdays, or better, hates it. to even wish people on their birthday or being wished on theirs.... I honestly find it funny, because I have always growing up celebrating birthdays. Maybe I was just being lucky to be able to celebrate it, not like this someone......

The sense of accomplishment! How many of you can understand that feeling? The feeling of pure contentment, of achieving what you wanted after hard work and long time spent..... the feeling is just unexplainable. As I get older, (yeah, as weird as it may sound...but a fact that we cannot deny since the clock will never stop ticking) I realized how much I value time. I value time in doing something productive, and not just merely wasting it.... yeah yeah, I do play online games...but it is necessary to get my mind of things at times. you need to know when to unwind and how to unwind just so that to keep yourself sane... Don't get me wrong. I am not condoning that playing games is good, but its the concept that I am trying to bring about here. It is knowing when to put your mind at rest and just have a good time. When you are so caught up with work work and work, you will just stressed up yourself and sooner than later, your health will surely be affected somehow. oh well...I ...

"It is better to have loved and lost than to never have love at all" Such a beautiful line that struck the core of my being. Honestly. Just a simple sentence yet so rich in meaning. Love indeed is just so beautiful. Oh well...some of you will start speculating things when you read me writing this....  "oh someone is in love..", "someone has a boyfriend".. yadaa yadaa yadaa...come on...its just something beautiful worth sharing. The line is just obvious to show how negative people usually are, when they experience a love lost, maybe a broken relationship or just a mere broken friendship. I have to be honest here. I lost a very close friend of 12 years over a simple misunderstanding. I admit I am wrong, but being human, ego is always at play whether we want to admit it or not. In the end, we rather sacrifice the friendship than our ego. and a close friendship bond of more than a decade just ended like that. no turning back the clock. It is difficu...

So life decided to take me on an adventure. Its been an exhilarating ride so far with so many commenting of how good my life currently is...or well, my career for that matter.... oh well people, life is always greener on the other side...I see your grass green, you see my grass green too... its just how we do what we do to keep it looking green in your eyes, hiding the weeds and the dark patches away from sight. That's just what life is all about. We always strive to always feel good, but admit it....we always strive to look good for others...we always want to appear looking successful in front of our peers, we want to boast about our holidays or our travels around the world, we want to let them know the amazingly beautiful people we met at work...we just want to "be out there"...looking good in the eyes of others. but why? ever ponder on this? life is created by us. we craft our own lives. Many years ago, during my high school days, a thought struck me. ...

So it's been a while since I last posted here. Things have certainly changed for me...in various ways, and especially in my career... After all these years, I finally believe that dreams do come true. when you finally landed your dream job and everything just falls right into place....and looking back, I can certainly confirmed that it was all really planned out for me right from the beginning... Having jumped from one company to another (for those who knows me personally), I've always questioned the reason why for such things to keep occurring to me...it's tiring, to be honest, but nevertheless, I am truly thankful for each and every one of these episodes; the good and the bad. It has shaped me into who I am today. and it has certainly brought me to where I am today (in my career). In short, always believe that dreams do come true but...always be aware that it will not come at the time we want, but it will always do...so always be patient. have faith and trust ...

What makes a good leader? Such a generic question which many has learn to tackle...but first, what's your definition of a leader? Everyone has his or her own definition of a leader.. but i guess the basic of it is that a leader is a person who leads his or her team to finish up tasks that were given to them. In that case, anyone can be a leader... But what makes a good leader then? what's the extraordinary trait apart from the above? To me personally, after my 8 years of working, i get to brag that i finally know what a good leader is.  A good leader is someone who will motivate and inspire his or her team to greater heights. He or she is able to guide the team to move them to be more initiative in their given job/task. Guide here does not mean to constantly feed them with information and rules or procedures of what to do, but rather to lead them to the end goal of the task, as a back bench while the team is the one getting the job done. It is important to let the tea...

Need and Want. Two simple terms yet defined in such a broad manner. I was first introduced to these two terms during my tertiary studies by my lecturer, which have since stuck to me till now. He always tells us to only buy what we need and not what we want...and that has led him to wear the same pair of trousers from the first day we met him till now (maybe.....). that gave a huge impact on all of us, including me, on the vast difference between the two and how it has led us in our decision making daily...God bless this man! Lately, I came to see these two terms in a whole different light....in the form of persons...in an organization... people often don't view human resource as an asset, but they usually are...they are the hands that work the talk and the brains that generate ideas..... and it is down to these again..the kind of person you need in your team, and the kind of person you want in your team. Words does not mean anything if it is not furnish with the actions to su...

The human and the "smart" one. Of my years of working with various types of people from all walks of life, I finally come up with a summary of two major groups in the working force; the human and the "smart" one. Over the years, i have discover who I really am and somehow has my own style of working, which I would be able to call "my style". This style of mine can be the trigger of revealing the human and the "smart" one around me. Allow me to define further. The human is all about feeling. When someone is so busy with their tasks and duties, the human who is so free, would somehow start questioning his/her role when noticing his/her teammate is so busy while they are just shaking legs, waiting for time to go home, browsing social media, window shopping online, etc. When a human have the feeling of guilty, that's when they will approach the busy one to offer to help ease the burden. That's being human, because you know the purpose y...

Your patience will be rewarded. I can never agree more to that statement. How often do we wish to have the things we dream about...and when its finally in our door way, you can imagine the excitement that comes along with it.... you can say proudly, "FINALLY! AFTER ALL THESE YEARS" It is a justification of all the years of hard work and value that you put into. All the toil, the sweat, the pain, the anxiety...it finally mattered. I'm still keeping my fingers crossed about it. Hoping it will truly come true. So help me, God. Amen.

so well.....guess its my time now....the mid-life crisis........oh the horror and the anxiety that comes with it....THE MID-LIFE CRISIS... maybe it has been there all along, but i'm just denying the reality...and finally it surfaced...forcing me to deal with it, face-on.... often people just say it, but you never know the real deal till you are in it...and let me tell you, the struggle is real. it is as real as it can be.... so what is this crisis all about? people who knows me or work with me may not noticed this, but deep down within, the question is lingering at all times... What am I doing now? Where am I heading to? What do I want in life? it often is a career based question because that's how people often see this crisis, i meant from the generic point of view of most people...but then again, that is the core of it too... our career leads and shapes our future, of where we would be and what we would be... my career, i honestly admit, is something I am truly proud abou...

Are our emotions clearly seen on our faces or do we always wear a mask every time we leave our houses? I guess everyone do have their own individual mask(s) to wear, for every occasion. Why? all because the world hates the truth. The world despises the truth. The world is not ready for the truth. and thus, the truth is being hidden under those mask(s).  Yes, it is truly sad that mask have to be worn in order to survive our daily lives. People around us are not ready to accept the real us, the real person within each of us. There is always an expectation of people of us. thus when the expectation is not met, sarcasm and critics will come flying around. To save us from all these daggers, a mask is often needed. Sad it is, but that is the reality. It is a challenge to really remove the mask and to be who we are meant to be. It is difficult, I admit, and people are somewhat judgmental about it. The less we bother about all these, the more peaceful our hearts would be.  ...

Came across a status update on FB this morning, about a lady being asked to give up what she loves most during the season of Lent. She decided to give up her husband and her kids.  To some it may be a joke. but to me personally, i feel that it is really sweet and self-giving of her. to give up something or someone that you love most is indeed the hardest thing to do. and to be able to do that, that is in fact to me, a huge sacrifice.  and thus, i have been thinking of what i would do differently this Lent. and i thought to myself, that i would do the same. every Lent i would try to do something special, or something extraordinary. i've started with abstaining for the entire season, and adding on to that, i offered a pray to a different person for the entire season..and this year, i decided to add on by giving up on the person i care the most.  So help me God. Amen. 

New year, new layout...and i am hoping to say a new beginning too..... oh well, things have been really really hard on me lately, especially when it comes to my career. Challenges after challenges which leaves me really really beat...and at my lowest end. never have i felt so helpless that even thinking of it makes my stomach turn... even my health and my routine lifestyle was and is affected...i don't sleep well, and kept thinking of work work and more work. even during an off-day, all i can do is to work.... i really have no life, do i? sad it is, to see what i have become....honestly.... its been 8 years since i took this career journey..to be where i am today, to be doing what i am doing today....it has been hard hard work... and to be going through the past few days, really kept me thinking back of the struggles i have to put up with now! and all the while, i always think that things will be easier as the years go by, with the experience and the vast people i worked with.....

Its the 18th day into the new year....anything change? i can proudly say YES! I have made a pledge to my own self that the past will remain as the past and not to dwell anymore in it. Whatever that happened over the years or recent years, it happened. nothing can be done to undo it anymore...and most importantly, learn from it and move on. No point keep bringing it up and thinking about it, regretting. Life goes on. Pick yourself  up and move on...life has more to offer. Just trust everything unto Him. He knows what is best. Amen.

Happy New Year 2017! This has always been my annual routine..to sum up the past year of what it has been.... one word for 2016; Challenging 2016 has been a really challenging year for me. so much has happened throughout the 365 days. It has been a roller coaster ride for me. So many unexpected things, the bad and the ugly. Relationships lose and new relationship formed, friends lose and new friends found, a new job, and a whole new level of life itself.  2016 has been a year of change for me. personally. mentally and emotionally, and also socially. things happened which changed me a lot, internally, which i hope is for the better. I can only hope and pray that all that has happened is really part of His plan. I truly trust in His plan and allow Him to work on me. Praying for a smooth flowing year ahead. Come what may. God help me. Amen.